Today after 40 mins of train delays, I called an Uber for the...

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By "LinossierB" - 02/03/2017 20:36 - Australia - Balaclava

Today after 40 mins of train delays, I called an Uber for the first time so I'd just make it in time to work but was too stressed out to realise MAZ DA3 wasn't the car number plate. Took me 10 mins to find the uber. I was late to work. FML.

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vote type 1 63

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my daughter flew completely off the handle when she found out I have a girlfriend, and called me an unfaithful sinning bastard, who’s going to hell for cheating on her mother. Her mother's been dead for 20 years and this is the first time I’ve met a woman since then. FML

agreeclassic 2 230

vote type 1 127

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

agreeclassic 54 361

vote type 1 4 918

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

agreeclassic 1 996

vote type 1 487

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

agreeclassic 51 166

vote type 1 4 041

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

agreeclassic 57 652

vote type 1 6 214

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

agreeclassic 41 590

vote type 1 3 752