By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury
The Top
Emergency
By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States
Fingers crossed
By ithinkicanmakeit - 20/08/2014 17:01 - Canada - Edmonton
By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 20:05 - United States
By dunno why we bother - 31/03/2014 20:07 - United States - Tampa
Wanker
By alicia - 20/12/2012 22:45 - Canada - Montreal
By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France
Don't let them get you down
By Anonymous - 03/04/2012 17:48 - United States - Tucson
Little *****
By MLZ - 30/07/2010 20:00 - United States
By Smoothskin - 19/09/2013 21:18 - Australia - Heidelberg
By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States
By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper
By elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway
No escape
By natty - 16/03/2009 16:02 - United States
By broken_tibia - 10/12/2010 17:30 - Canada
broken_tibia tells us more.
Baseless
By Anonymous - 24/02/2015 15:10 - India - Tuticorin
By keiran123 - 27/06/2013 23:15 - United States - Welsh
By notsoonenufdeparted - 02/10/2010 05:07 - United States
Not so merry Christmas
By Holly Jolly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
Pissed
By banned - 09/03/2012 06:59 - United States
By Bethany - 07/08/2013 14:26 - United States
By danny395 - 13/01/2014 15:37 - United Kingdom
danny395 tells us more.
OP here this is the first time I've had a post accepted so i thought i should elaborate because I hate it when people don't explain. The reason I wasn't wearing glasses is I've been assured by many people that I look pretty stupid in my glasses and I thought it would be best to make a good first impression (I know its vain but I wanted to impress). I also only put one contact lens in so my left eye was fine but my sight is so bad (-6.25 if your'e interested) that i cant see anything at all without my glasses + Im fairly tall and live on the top floor with some crazily steep stairs so its pretty hard to get down in the best of times but a mix of the pain plus bad sight meant i slipped and sent myself into the wall. I realise I should have washed my hands first but i was in a rush and i didn't want to be late, kind of ironic considering I ended up being about an hour late trying to sort out this particular mess. Worse of all I ended up wearing my glasses anyway... In defence I've been assured by my flatmate that the girl is really nice but not very outgoing and quite shy, she didn't really want to be there and I was so late I can understand she left when I arrived looking like I'd been in a couple of MMA fights... And #3 I appreciate you seeing the irony in 'blind' date :)
By sierraleeannee - 09/02/2014 06:44 - United States
sierraleeannee tells us more.
OP here. I can't believe this got posted before I went to bed! Hahaha! For some reason this got edited out, but he ended up smacking me in the face after he bit me. He's 9 months old so he thinks it's hilarious obviously. And I'm not sure why it didn't show my name, I posted it while logged in. And as for the person who said time for bottle feeding, he won't take a bottle, which is fine with me! He's teething so he tends to bite more when he is. Glad to know my son has made people laugh :)
By TheStressComesFree - 31/07/2013 16:47 - Canada - Calgary
Blasphemy
By IAMALITAHA - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne
Great, just great
By Mills - 18/01/2010 11:49 - United States
By Ouch - 29/07/2009 05:42 - United States
By Somerandomguy64 - 10/12/2013 18:04 - United States - Pleasantville
By annie_nk - 26/12/2012 17:25 - United States - Tooele
annie_nk tells us more.
This is my FML. It was chicken, which we have an abundance of and generic 2-ply.
When the rain comes
By Soaked - 31/07/2009 17:21 - United States
Keywords
clarification: I was wearing a shin-gaurd (clearly not a very good one...), the kick had enough force to break my leg anyways. Also, I only know about the loud crack because people told me about it, I didn't hear it myself (I was too busy writhing in agony to register much of anything really).