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Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 681

Meanwhile, at Harvard…

By 552220000 - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I raised my hand to answer a question, but I forgot the answer, so when the teacher called on me, I just said, "I need to pee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 628

The body keeps the score

By Shitty situation hur hur - 23/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 119

Lone wolf

By the loneliest number - 14/10/2025 20:00

Today, it’s almost my birthday. Instead of the big fun celebration I’d hoped to have, I’ve cut ties with most of my deeply toxic friend group. I think being alone is better than being surrounded by fake friends and real enemies, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 93

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 15:00

Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 063

Holiday season

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 09:00

Today, I’m a recovering alcoholic. With the upcoming holiday, I have two choices; I can go over my family’s house who are all heavy drinkers and hope I don’t relapse, or I can stay home by myself and hope the crushing loneliness doesn’t drive me back to the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 91

Music sounds better with you

By Miranda - 06/12/2025 00:00

Today, my crush shared his listening age on Spotify Wrapped, as well as his top artists. We happen to have the same listening age and top artists. Yet he rejected me as a girlfriend because I’m “not his type.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 493

Tough time for the edgelords

By Confused - 29/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have a dilemma. I was really upset when Charlie Kirk was shot, and yelled at people who made fun of his death. However, I find the Kirkification memes edgy and funny, but I can't take part because I would be called out for being a hypocrite or worse. I don't want to get kirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 756

Plenty of fish (or not)

By Lonely - 05/01/2026 03:00

Today, I have been single for four years. During this time, I have hit it off with a dozen women. Ten of them turned out to be very religious or in cults, which is a deal breaker to me. Of the remaining two, one became a dear friend before blocking me when she met her now boyfriend, and the last one is asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 149

Show yourself!

By Coneer - 19/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told an employee to turn her camera on during a meeting when she worked remote. Since she refused to turn it on, I questioned the veracity of whether she was actually working at home, so I threatened to take disciplinary action. She responded by filing a complaint to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 574

Also great baby name suggestions

By unloved - 22/01/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 112

Badass

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 20:00

Today, my grandmother got caught trying to rob a casino. She was planning this for months, and is claiming I was an integral part of the heist. I'm fifteen and had no idea she was planning this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 67

How the other half lives

By They're children, they want to play - 18/02/2026 12:00

Today, I got a noise complaint about "loud stomping" in my apartment disturbing the tenant below. I guess I'm supposed to tell my sweet children that they are no longer allowed to play in their own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 665

Planned parenthood

By NPRM - 03/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband and I got into yet another fight because he wants a second kid and I don't. One kid is enough for any family but he won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 291

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 83

Red flag

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since we started trying for a baby, my husband initiates sex a lot less often than he used to, and has even started suffering from erectile dysfunction on occasion. Call me crazy, but I’m starting to suspect he doesn’t want a baby after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 160

It's downhill from here

By Lost Reggie - 14/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, my best friend since 8th grade died. This follows the deaths of my father in 2023, my divorce, and my mother dying last year. I already had an emotional Mother's Day, and now this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 83

Stephanie Says…

By Not Stephanie - 20/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ranted via text to my best friend about how annoying our coworker Stephanie is. I hit send, only to realize I had sent it to… the Stephanie in question. My backup plan? Following up with, "Just kidding! It’s for a short story I’m writing.” She replied, “I look forward to reading it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 704

Sorry Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, to tease my cat for his naughty behavior and tendency to fart upon getting onto my lap, I tried to return the favor by farting on him while he was cleaning himself. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 705

Grow up

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today my boyfriend (maybe ex) is pissed at me because when he asked for space, I gave him exactly that. I didn’t call, text, or give any sort of communication. He took it as a sign that I must not be truly invested in us if I didn’t reach out. I thought we were adults not highschoolers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 106

On the runs

By coloneltushfinger - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 483

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son swears blind he didn’t take my car joyriding last night. Thing is, I reverse into the drive. He drove it back in facing forwards, but no matter how I tell him, he doesn’t get it because the car's in the drive, so there’s no evidence, right? IT’S FACING THE WRONG WAY DUMBASS, I KNOW YOU TOOK IT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 99

Nag nag nag

By Whipped like cream - 14/07/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 219

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 792

Trigger happy

By Helen - 03/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my boyfriend saw a notification on my phone saying "Men's Singles". He lost his shit and dumped me. It was a tennis match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 102

Love you too

By Blinken - 15/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma like I do every other day to tell her that I love her, and to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 92

The shape of you

By KLO65 - 17/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 447

Whisky dick

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 160

The passenger

By Green_Artist_6409 - 02/09/2025 09:00 - India

Today, I travelled to the beach, and I got what I thought was a food crumb in my phone charger port. I poked it around and it was so gross to realize that it was an insect. I removed the bug with a tissue corner, used an old brush to clean the rest up. I panicked and thought it was a bug infestation in my hostel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 152

The first step is acknowledging it

By Alex - 23/09/2025 15:00

Today, I fucked up. I let my mental health problems and the alcohol win. I was horrible to my wife and basically ended my marriage due to my problems and insecurities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 522

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The Top

Today, my six year-old son maxed my credit card on Robux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 621

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 319

You deserved it 23 921

Today, as a police officer, I was sent to deal with an indecent exposure. It was two homeless people who'd both passed out on drugs in the middle of sex. I had to wake them up, then help prise them apart, as his penis was still very visibly inside her exposed for the whole street to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 186

Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 497

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 508

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one-night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 3 700