When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML I agree, your life sucks 77 842 You deserved it 19 992
Today, it's been three days since my husband decided he really wanted to try the Surströmming Challenge. I can still smell that shit all through my house, even with all the doors and windows open after the stupid bastard took one smell, vomited, and dropped the can on the carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 506 You deserved it 295
Today, I found out that even after having had my tubes tied, I am in fact pregnant. I have an 8-month-old son and his father just remarried another woman 2 months ago. Neither of them believe that the new baby is his. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 255 You deserved it 430
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 143 You deserved it 14 388
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 250 You deserved it 26 185
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 365 You deserved it 925
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋