Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 90 Share Tweet Share
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 110 You deserved it 4 128
Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 560 You deserved it 2 302
Today, according to my wife, if we hadn’t gotten drunk and pregnant on the first date, she never would've chosen me to be her husband, as I’m not her type, not even close, and that frankly I’m lucky her Catholic upbringing was the only thing that stopped her having multiple affairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 748 You deserved it 189
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 081 You deserved it 37 217
Today, it was my 23rd birthday. I didn't make it to my party because I was rear-ended on the way there by a 16-year-old in a red mustang going 50+ mph. My birthday cake landed in my lap and I was yelled at by his mother for getting chocolate icing on their insurance card. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 974 You deserved it 328
Today, our youngest child finally moved out of our house. I went to embrace my wife and say something romantic about us growing old together, but she said, "Thank God they're gone, I can finally leave you." An hour later, she was gone too. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 080 You deserved it 178
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.