Getting The Party Started By FML Videos - 21/10/2018 00:00 Bird's gone wild! I agree, your life sucks 280 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had a bacterial infection in my intestines. Doctors suggested I wash my intestines, but apparently forgot to tell me I couldn't eat before the procedure. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the whole room right now smells like rancid fried chicken, or the fact that the doctors were just talking about going to Popeyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 944 You deserved it 258
Today, I was sleeping in my bed next to my dog. I must've bumped her in my slumber, because she went into full zombie mode and bit my face. I now have a large bruise and bite marks on my cheek. It's so swollen that I can barely see out of my left eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 797 You deserved it 1 365
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 985 You deserved it 57 754
Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 190 You deserved it 16 904
Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 587 You deserved it 209
Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 606 You deserved it 235