Disaster Preparedness - FML

Disaster Preparedness

By FML Videos - 17/09/2018 18:30

In all seriousness, be safe out there guys!

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pjsr 32

Monday 17 September 2018 19:41

This is why there is no male version of Mary Poppins

Comments

pjsr 32

Monday 17 September 2018 19:41

This is why there is no male version of Mary Poppins

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Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

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Today, I set up a nice picnic style dinner in our living room for my wife. No special occasion, just because, but when she got home and saw it, all I got was a “great, and I suppose you’ll want sex for this?” then she made herself a sandwich and went to bed, no explanation. Why do I bother? FML

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Today, I put leftovers in the microwave and pressed what I thought was “1:00.” It was actually “10:00.” I got distracted, then realized at minute eight when the smell changed from “warm food” to “bad science experiment.” FML

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Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

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Today, my boyfriend lamented that I do not profess my love for him as often and poetically as he does his for me. I try my best, but he's Italian and I am German, and this is not a level playing field. FML

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