Disaster Preparedness By FML Videos - 17/09/2018 18:30 In all seriousness, be safe out there guys! I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 160 Share Tweet Share
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 57 507 You deserved it 4 816
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 095 You deserved it 6 102
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 511 You deserved it 9 056
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 672 You deserved it 4 116
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 632 You deserved it 332
Today, after spending a day in the ER and a day in hospital, I was recovering from emergency surgery. My boyfriend left to eat and didn't come back. He texted me 4 hours later that he was drinking with his friends and that he loved his "brown eyed girl". My eyes aren't brown. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 513 You deserved it 1 265
This is why there is no male version of Mary Poppins