By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, my sister, who is now 19, gathered the guts to formally present her boyfriend to us. She was so concerned that my parents wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, she kept it a secret for 5 years. We were happy to hear it, until she presented him to us. He's a 35-year-old taxi driver. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 552 You deserved it 152
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 952 You deserved it 1 596
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 373 You deserved it 3 542
Today, my stepmother, an uncontrolled diabetic who refuses to change her abhorrent eating habits, berated me for how "mean" I am for limiting my kids’ junk food, and making them eat a portion of vegetables with every meal. Yeah, real mean. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 098 You deserved it 85
Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 567 You deserved it 3 312
Today, I laughed so hard at a show, I threw up all over myself. The show in question? iCarly. FML I agree, your life sucks 276 You deserved it 724
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.