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Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Teenagers

    Sex ed is ******

    By danmarino - 09/03/2009 23:29 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 844
    You deserved it 83 935
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    The nickname that sticks

    By ap84 - 27/02/2009 21:47 - United States

    Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 83 887
    You deserved it 5 635
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    Love Money Miscellaneous Birthday Cute Relatable Sextoys Intimacy NSFW Sex Work Bodyshaming Kids Parenting Food Fish Friends Social Media Divorce Stressed out Dance Awkward Break-ups Animals Cops Dogs Teenagers Swimming pool Health Poopoo peepee
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, as an essential worker, some lady tore me a new one because we were out of large sanitizer bottles. Our doors opened at 9 a.m. and she didn't show up until 2 p.m. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 698
    You deserved it 120
    Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 999
    You deserved it 7 805
    Today, I went to Walmart with all my birthday money, which I had in a wallet with my permit and everything else. I was sat on a bench looking for items for my iPod Touch However… I left my wallet behind. Turns out an old couple stole it. I got my shit jacked by grandparents. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 6 422
    You deserved it 2 515
    Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 088
    You deserved it 6 662
    Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 13 647
    You deserved it 28 901
    Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 312
    You deserved it 3 370
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