Miscellaneous

By sh3lbst3r - 14/03/2014 22:59 - Australia - Epping

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 734

You deserved it 5 447

sh3lbst3r tells us more.

sh3lbst3r 8

Saturday 15 March 2014 17:11

The only reason they could hear it was because my apartment has pretty thin walls and I was doing dishes, watching it on my laptop beside me. The volume was cranked so I could hear it and of course that suuuuper long scene with Little Finger and the two girls came on -_- They were good about the whole thing and laughed it off and I promised to turn it down.

By seriously wtf - 08/03/2013 03:18 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 525

You deserved it 4 104

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 538

You deserved it 3 462

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 422

You deserved it 3 131

Big lad

By Stronk - 17/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I severely underestimated how strong I am when I attempted to dunk a basketball into a miniature basketball hoop at a swimming pool. I made it, but in doing so I made it fall over, despite the cinder blocks placed on the base specifically to prevent that from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 457

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 15:32 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 4 623

By nothotforteacher - 07/01/2010 07:13 - United States

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 990

You deserved it 2 920

Stacy's mom…

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 302

You deserved it 4 993

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 585

You deserved it 4 528

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 21:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 385

You deserved it 8 544

Humor bypass

By #goodbyelife - 09/12/2014 00:38 - United States

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 162

You deserved it 6 237

By Anonymous - 24/04/2011 20:55 - United States

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 488

You deserved it 6 868

By Anonymous - 21/05/2013 07:32 - United States - Sparks

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 236

You deserved it 3 331

Check these out

By ahappypenguin - 26/09/2012 04:07

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 058

You deserved it 2 037

By TingBarter - 09/07/2009 15:00 - United States

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 844

You deserved it 9 563

It's a conspiracy!

By Robyn - 05/01/2016 08:43 - Belgium - Stokkem

Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 1 755

By Finding Kemo - 16/04/2016 19:12 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to school with a bad haircut. I got about 50 cancer jokes so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 518

You deserved it 2 172

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 342

You deserved it 4 544

By lollipopgreen - 01/10/2011 12:33 - United States

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 625

You deserved it 51 737

By Why Me - 12/08/2015 13:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 444

You deserved it 2 890

By 303 - 05/07/2012 20:24 - United States - Houston

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 885

You deserved it 2 674

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 482

You deserved it 93 916

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 832

You deserved it 39 492

By shield1123 - 29/09/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 351

You deserved it 2 352

By triple l - 15/10/2012 08:33 - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 2 734

By ididn'tevendoanythingwrong - 10/02/2015 18:05 - United States - Tampa

Today, my roommates told me they want me to move out of our apartment. We would have never gotten the apartment without my credit score, and most of the furniture is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 116

You deserved it 2 773

By shoopbadeewoop - 08/03/2014 21:43

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 954

You deserved it 6 242

By SY5623 - 12/08/2015 00:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 901

You deserved it 1 938

By TonyTalkingClock - 04/11/2014 12:48 - United States - Haverhill

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 137

You deserved it 12 283

TonyTalkingClock tells us more.

TonyTalkingClock 11

Tuesday 4 November 2014 21:36

OP here. First off, I would like to thank you all for not only putting my FML on here, but also giving me all this feedback! I felt like I would answer some questions. 2 - Note to self: Will try. 8, and several others - I actually do have some French Canadian heritage, but I was born and raised here in the North Shore of Massachusetts. 36 - It's real maple. Thanks for the feedback, everyone! If you're wondering, it tasted like maple syrup.