Doctor

Healthcare in the USA

By still can’t sleep - 21/12/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, despite changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and taking melatonin, I still can’t sleep. When I told my doctor, she prescribed antidepressants. This is the third time she’s tried to give them to me. That’s her solution for everything, and my insurance won’t give me another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 158

Quacks

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 15:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to see the doctor to find out if the injury to my foot will ever heal right, because it's swollen to the size of a bowling ball, and I was hoping to start a method of treatment to get it back to what it was like before. When I asked, the doctor said, "It might, might not." So much for that hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 89

What's on the menu?

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, my doctor wants me to avoid carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Yes, I am looking for another doctor while I scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 106

Prostate implies an Antistate

By artsmart1 - 06/03/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 437

You deserved it 2 953

Messed up

By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 4 872

Are you lost?

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into what I thought was my doctor’s new office building for my appointment. I sat down, only to realize five minutes later that I was sitting in a small conference room where they were holding a staff meeting, and not the waiting room I thought it was. I had to wait for the doctor's receptionist to come get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 410

Ghosts!

By sleepwalkers - 25/05/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 138

Blackstone salivating

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 70

Hello?

By SierraTheArchdevil - 23/05/2021 00:01

Today, I woke up completely deaf, for no reason. My doctor told me my hearing loss, "could possibly be permanent." I’m a composer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 84

Stay at home

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, after working several months through the pandemic at a medical clinic, my coworkers and I got a gift to thank us for our hard work during this time. Was it a raise or a bonus? Nah. Just a small Tupperware container. We were also told later on that all time-off requests were suspended until further notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 90

Evil eye doctor

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 01:58 - United States

Today, my step-son broke his glasses. Our doctor said he would no longer see us because my step-son is transgender, and a new law in our state allows him to do this. Apparently, it was foolish to be honest on medical forms. Finals are in a month but we have to find a new doctor before he can even study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 498

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 03:59

Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 174

Quack

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, while at my doctor's appointment, all my male doctor did was talk about my weight gain. I tried explaining that I eat healthy and work out, and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first child, and have always struggled with body image. It makes me want to develop an eating disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 125

Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 459

You deserved it 2 339

Pile on

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Livermore

Today, I was laughingly informed that I'm an overachiever, by my doctor who thinks I have more health conditions than anyone my age should have. Guess who was just diagnosed with another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 117

Of course not

By Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho - 24/05/2015 15:56 - United Kingdom - Cheadle

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 535

You deserved it 2 729

Mystery

By oof! - 09/08/2021 17:59

Today, after taking him to two different neurological specialists, a pediatric ophthalmologist, an inner ear specialist, and a therapist, I’ve spent thousands of dollars just to come to the conclusion that my son is just hopelessly clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 157

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 496

You deserved it 5 131

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 30/10/2021 02:00 - Sweden

Today, I finally built up the courage to seek professional help for my eating disorder. Apparently I don't meet the criteria, so I was denied help and got sent away. So basically, I'll have to get even sicker for them to take me seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 103

Neverending shift

By ThisIsYourDoc - 15/05/2023 12:00 - Switzerland - Malans

Today, I started a new job as a resident at a rural hospital. So far, nobody has been able to tell me when the shifts were officially supposed to end. They told me they just "leave when we're done with all the patients." I work on a 24/7 emergency station, and I guess I now also live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 146

Unfinished Somniloquy

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 23:17 - United States

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 369

You deserved it 25 985

Time is running out

By TravellingDr - 31/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I'm accepting professional defeat and preparing to move. My state has one of the lowest vaccine rates in the country. If I have to see another ICU full of people with Covid just because they chose not to get vaccinated, I'll become one of those doctors who think all patients are stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 470

Classic

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 18:00

Today, my physician, a known drunk himself, told me I was drinking too much and I should quit before my kidneys decide to divorce me and take the house and car with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 891

Tense

By Anon - 06/04/2021 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor told me if my blood pressure gets any higher, he could use me to reinflate the air in his tyres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 159

Thanks, dad

By manoloonfire - 21/12/2020 15:04 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I'm a MD who graduated with honors. I can't work right now because I'm preparing myself for the medical residence exam. I want to be a cardiovascular surgeon. My dad is ashamed of me and treats me like shit, because I don't work and I'm 26 years-old, living with my parents while I'm studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 127

What goes up must come down

By Anonymous - 02/05/2022 16:00

Today, when I wasn’t looking, my brother added 50 kilos to my barbell at the gym, which I obviously dropped right on my neck. I’m not sure what it’s called but the doc says I broke my Adam’s apple and that I'm lucky to be alive, since it could have broken my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 109

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 03:00 - Belgium - Eupen

Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 261

Second opinion, please

By fishyrael - 25/08/2021 22:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I went to a new doctor for an injury. Instead, the doctor only focused on my weight and tried to basically prescribe me anorexia. She tried to tell me that 750 calories a day was fine and brushed off my exercise regimen as, "Exercise is great, but you'll lose weight faster if there are no calories to burn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 191

Too tired for this shit

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 00:02

Today, I met a girl at an airport before an early flight, after I’d only had 3 hours sleep. She moved here for a job in radiology. We joked, laughed, flirted, and parted ways. I told my friend, who asked why I hadn't get her number. I joked I would’ve if she'd been a doctor. He then says, “Radiologists ARE doctors, duh!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 518

Cheers, Doc

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 00:00

Today, I accidentally swallowed a piece of gum. My doctor says it'll pass in 7-10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 793

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Painful Health Awkward Kids Cops Miscellaneous Money Insomnia Doctor Family Parents Work Annoying Food Friends Love Relatable AITA LGBTQIA+ Embarrassing First Dates Cheating Frustration Religion School Porn Cars Transportation Sex Ironic

The Top

Today, I've been working towards a management position at my IT job for 9 years. My boss quit, so I thought, "This is my chance!" Nope, our department got outsourced and now I'm interviewing for my own job on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 66

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 455

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 479

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 318

Today, my mom is threatening to disinherit me because I won’t have a baby. I have three siblings who between them have seven kids for her to obsess over, yet she calls at least once a week and always tries to convince me to get pregnant. Fuck off mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 137

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 622

You deserved it 7 749