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Self report

By bluten - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 048

You deserved it 31 247

Bad boy

By wellokaythen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 217

You deserved it 5 161

Upon reflection

By mahanaaa_23 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend of six years proposed to me. Less than three hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 4 430

I'll get my coat

By sen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me, "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 695

You deserved it 2 670

ADMIT IT!

By anti-drugs - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 566

You deserved it 4 308

Dick move

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 556

You deserved it 5 691

Undercover

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 581

You deserved it 4 792

How could you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 415

You deserved it 4 208

This doesn't feel nice

By feelthesting - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Aguascalientes

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 880

You deserved it 1 896

Weak at the knees

By kaybear13 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Mateo

Today, I got written up because apparently leaning on the counter at work is unprofessional, even if you're about to pass out and the counter is the only thing keeping you on your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 2 438

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 567

You deserved it 1 284

False economy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 990

You deserved it 27 830

Payback

By AUDONEE - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. It turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an ad for a Siamese cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 302

You deserved it 59 932

Dodgy reaction

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? My boss didn't like that my manager and I are friends outside of work, and he thinks we are sleeping together. She's gay and I live with my boyfriend of five years. He blamed it on me wearing the wrong shoes three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 536

You deserved it 181

Hard times

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 62

Danger zone

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 06:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, despite repeatedly telling the nurse I'm severely allergic to NSAIDs, she insisted she give me Advil for my high fever. When I told her I would go into anaphylactic shock, she said, "Well you are in the right place to go into anaphylactic shock!" and then told the doctor I was refusing treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 61

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 123

Late to the party

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my ex-husband, who abandoned us after our son was paralyzed in an accident, contacted me to demand full custody because he found out that I got remarried. He doesn't want another man raising his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 59

Get me the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out that I have to appear in juvenile court because I kept running away from home. I kept running away because my stepdad beats my mom and she won't do anything about it. They said I might have to go to detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 49

Respect

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 03:00 - Curaçao

Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 72

Family time comes first

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job because my mom and stepdad forced me to go on our family vacation, even though my time off got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 111

Cruel dilemma

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have both gout and diabetic neuropathy, meaning my feet are both too numb to feel pain while also being too painful to walk. It is not a fun sensation. Not at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 83

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my pathetic wannabe influencer sister would not stop recording my kids, even though they and I told her not to. I finally snapped and smashed her phone and now she's threatening to press charges, and our parents are on her side. My kids are scared that they're going to be taken away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 75

Shifty

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of effort, I was finally able to open my own full body beauty salon. I’ve been open approximately two hours and I’ve had six genuine customers and three shifty looking dudes trying to ask, without saying the actual words, if we’re one of those rub and tug, happy ending massage parlours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 63

Mommy needs a break

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight because I booked us on an adults-only Virgin Voyages cruise for our anniversary. I love him, but he wants every single vacation to be a family vacation with our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 172

Priorities

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I called off my wedding because I found out he was cheating, but my daughter is more upset that she spent $400 on a bridesmaid's gown and now can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 97

Seek medical help

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 77

Ungrateful brat

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, despite all I've sacrificed to stay home with my child, and operating a small business while they are in school, my child decided to make a punchline out of me and roasted me in front of the whole family because my husband paid for my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 88

I did warn you…

By sadmd - 29/04/2026 00:00 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, my elderly patient accused me of not taking good care of her, because, during my time off, she was taken to the hospital for anemia. I tested her for anemia months ago and discussed it with her, and she'd told me that she didn't want to go to the hospital. Guess who everyone believes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 59

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 07:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 114

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The Top

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 3 279

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 188

You deserved it 8 194

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 687

You deserved it 4 254

Today, I got another "secret admirer" letter from someone at work. I'm now talking to the police, yet again, because I'm a middle school teacher and suspect it was from one of my underage students. Nobody warned me about this when I became a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 109

Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 684

You deserved it 2 670

Today, I was gambling on pull tabs. My friend, never much of a gambler, asked to take one. I was confused but gave one to him anyway. I got precisely $0 from them. The tab I gave to my friend was a winner. How much was it worth, you ask? Six hundred dollars. I'm very happy for him, but… seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 373