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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


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    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    When you brag a bit too much

    By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30

    do not count your chickens before they hatch
    I agree, your life sucks 231
    You deserved it 154
    Share  
    Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
    Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…
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    Top comments

    Phillycheeze 20
    Tuesday 11 December 2018 1:29

    Run Forest...Run!

    1 0

    Comments

    Phillycheeze 20
    Tuesday 11 December 2018 1:29

    Run Forest...Run!

    1 0
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    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
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    Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 470
    You deserved it 4 120
    Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 422
    You deserved it 8 021
    Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 641
    You deserved it 4 707
    Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 119 462
    You deserved it 6 444
    Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 64
    You deserved it 794
    Today, I finally made it to my hotel in Florida, only to discover my boss was holidaying in the same hotel with her wife. So far I’ve run into them three times, at the pool, in the bar, and in the gym, and every time she ends up asking me work related questions. It's like I never left the office. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 288
    You deserved it 109
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