My last brain cell By Lewis - 25/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris It has been a tough week I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 78 Share Tweet Share
Today, I’m working in Germany. I told my German colleagues that the most beautiful ballet that I attended in my life was The Swan Lake, "der Schwanzsee". Except that swan in German is "Schwan" and not "Schwanz". For them, I’m now a big fan of the Penis Lake. FML I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 147
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 841 You deserved it 1 011
Today, I discovered my first wrinkle at the same time as my millionth zit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 162 You deserved it 176
Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 138 You deserved it 988
Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 506 You deserved it 44 221
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 893 You deserved it 274
The accuracy of this post is too high!
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