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Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Teenagers

    Sex ed is ******

    By danmarino - 09/03/2009 23:29 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 844
    You deserved it 83 935
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    The nickname that sticks

    By ap84 - 27/02/2009 21:47 - United States

    Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 83 887
    You deserved it 5 635
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Family Health Frustration Love Religion Relatable Awkward School Work Porn Money Transportation Cars Cheating Sex Ironic Intimacy Drunk Dentist Parents Kids Birthday Cute Death Painful I need your advice Sextoys NSFW Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 045
    You deserved it 7 786
    Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 820
    You deserved it 218
    Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 050
    You deserved it 3 537
    Today, during a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 410
    You deserved it 424
    Today, after a very harsh argument from my mother about her not seeing her grandchild enough, I decided to vent out my rage in a text to my friend. It wasn't until after I sent the message, that yes, I sent that message to my mom FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 214
    You deserved it 7 546
    Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 464
    You deserved it 430
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