Shopping

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 08:01

Today, I’m doing the 5 km bike ride to the grocery store. As always, I'm well equipped: Shopping bags, shopping list, pen, sunglasses, hat, sunscreen, raincoat, tampons, tissues, lip balm, water bottle… Anything I forgot? Aaah, yes. Money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 307

Mind your own ****

By Anonymous - 10/09/2022 09:00

Today, I went out to a store. I didn't have a bra on under my shirt, but some stranger offered to buy me one, because she didn't like the fact that my nipples were hard, and her husband was able to see them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 541

Help needed

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 11:59

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 240

I'm having a hard time, OK?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I handed my phone to the cashier so they could scan my digital coupons. I forgot I had my grocery list open in Notes. The top of the list read: “1) Wine. 2) More wine. 3) Emergency chocolate. 4) Hide evidence.” The cashier didn’t say anything, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 319

Snark

By hahasuckit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friends and I were shopping for dresses. I asked the lady at the counter for a size 4, she looked at me and mumbled, "Yeah, right…" in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 725

You deserved it 5 481

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 226

WTF are you doing?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 940

You deserved it 41 684

Supermarket sweep

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 84

Cashed out

By sorkin15 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 559

You deserved it 3 147

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 135

You deserved it 3 205

Circular

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 20:00

Today, I went to Home Depot because the lamp I'd bought there a few days ago was missing a part, and I wanted to get one that was complete. They wouldn't change it because it wasn't complete, and the policy said they wouldn't change anything that wasn't complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 168

I don't know what I'm doing

By louise - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 505

Spluttering and confused

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 20:00 - Ireland

Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 588

Off script

By Going hungry - 28/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 185

I like things just right

By Nate S - 03/05/2022 06:00

Today, my wife got mad at me for buying Raisin Bran without almonds. I offered to add confectionery sliced almonds, which we already had at home. Her response, “That’s not the same thing.” It is exactly the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 218

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 535

Sorry!

By slingshot - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 923

You deserved it 28 192

Hanging on by a thread

By fml - 23/05/2022 02:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was standing in line when the lady in front of me stepped out of the line. I made a comment about how rude she was for doing that, and she immediately burst into tears because she “didn’t know it was rude to do that.” A grown woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 1 829

Nice try

By Ellie - 06/07/2022 00:01

Today, I was ringing up a lady’s items; two shoeboxes. Per policy, I’m supposed to open them. She heavily insisted I didn’t. I ignored her and found other merchandise inside. She then went on a rant on how "people should mind their own fucking business" and stormed out of the store without buying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 132

Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 266

Flowers (Nothing But)

By ThisIsMyLife - 15/09/2019 12:00

Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 276

Keep it to yourself

By oops - 30/11/2011 14:15 - United Kingdom

Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 906

You deserved it 19 867

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 122

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 21:59 - United States - Morganville

Today, I thought the cashier said the new blouse I picked out was ugly as she was ringing me up. I'm really self-conscious about my fashion sense, so I snapped and started yelling at her. It wasn't until she was close to tears did I find out she said "lovely" not "ugly". So, that's another store I can't go back to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 3 019

Hey lady! Chill!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 406

You deserved it 3 047

Dog whistle

By uglyshoegirl - 08/03/2015 21:49 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 3 161

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 126

Let's pretend this never happened

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 128

What a freak

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 20:00

Today, a manager mistook me for an employee because I was wearing a shirt I bought from that shop. He was yelling at me for not working and tried to grab me to stop me leaving. I had to punch him in the nose to get free, and as I ran he actually shouted that I was fired. I’ve never worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 14:00

Today, the lady in front of me in the checkout line had a pacifier hanging around her neck, but I didn't think much of it until it was time for her to pay. She reacted to the $250 total by crying like a baby and very loudly asking me to put the pacifier in her mouth to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 462

You deserved it 222

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 84-year-old grandmother taught me a keyboard shortcut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 3 415

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 241

You deserved it 35 677

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 3 534

Today, and for the past week, my grandma has been talking about her oldest cat not living much longer. This morning, my mom called, and I could instantly tell by the inflection of her voice what had happened. I immediately, correctly, assumed that he had died… and then I got yelled at for being "pessimistic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 120

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 164

You deserved it 2 132

Today, I thought my coworker had confided to me that a close friend had died too soon, but it turns out she'd just ruined an expensive pan. We talked for 10 minutes and she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 111