Miscellaneous

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 018

You deserved it 3 475

By Anonymous - 26/10/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 217

You deserved it 5 046

Demented

By Anonymous - 19/09/2012 14:43 - United States

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 188

You deserved it 1 872

By James - 23/04/2017 02:00

Today, while standing in line to get my driver's license renewed, I hiccuped and burped at the same time. I was so flustered that I ended up telling an entire room full of people that I had the 'herps'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 154

You deserved it 781

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 948

You deserved it 41 984

By anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 241

You deserved it 5 304

Water shortage

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, the water stopped working in our apartment. We are supposed to be moving into a new place tomorrow, so we asked the landlord if we could move in a day early. Upon arrival, we found that the water tank needs to be installed, so there's no water here either. We're now admitting defeat and checking into a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 97

By definatelynotamurderer - 03/03/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 530

You deserved it 2 253

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 731

You deserved it 4 032

By Failed Artist - 30/08/2015 04:49 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 973

You deserved it 1 749

By AnnaMarie. - 28/02/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 590

You deserved it 3 859

By mehdi - 13/10/2008 08:20

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 554

You deserved it 33 855

By Baustigt - 22/08/2013 14:48 - Australia - Perth

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 734

You deserved it 13 844

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 522

You deserved it 71 455

By Jim Smith - 21/02/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 362

You deserved it 27 734

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 450

You deserved it 3 614

Innocence file

By tokinallday - 02/01/2015 19:23 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 400

You deserved it 2 506

By tehaustiebear - 03/10/2012 22:03 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 782

You deserved it 2 754

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 470

You deserved it 31 258

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 895

You deserved it 1 443

By Panda_Bearr - 03/09/2011 04:33 - United States

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 720

You deserved it 2 733

By Youdontneed2knowmyname - 05/02/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 895

You deserved it 26 674

By Cxisbest - 23/03/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 021

You deserved it 10 654

By Cottagecheeseha - 20/08/2012 04:03 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 679

You deserved it 6 800

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 8 486

By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 845

You deserved it 6 193

By Paras_800 - 31/01/2015 19:14 - United States

Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 3 107

Paras_800 tells us more.

Paras_800 27

Sunday 1 February 2015 20:43

Hey guys, its OP here! Just to clear a few things up, I was the one applying to the college, not interviewing another person. Sorry it was a typo, but in terms of the college I am hoping they will look at the big picture rather than focusing on the one mistake.

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 766

You deserved it 23 106

Just joking, dude!

By spacemanspiff78 - 31/10/2011 15:07

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 302

You deserved it 4 234

Heavy emphasis

By James - 04/10/2024 22:00 - Canada - Laval

Today, I was having a passionate conversation about video games with a friend in our school cafeteria when I leaned back in my chair as I empathized a point. I leaned a little too far, tipped over, and ended up sprawled out on the floor, still trying to finish my point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 390

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Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 3 579

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 207

You deserved it 3 454

Today, I have so much daily anxiety and functional depression that it takes a lot to want to do anything. Thank goodness it’s Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 199

Today, I finished a huge project for work. It took 3+ days and I was very proud of it. Except when I submitted it to my boss, he said that he'd already asked another person to do it. He used that person's project, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 376

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 784

You deserved it 7 155

Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 827