Family

This party is lit

By Tyler_Padgett - 24/05/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box, "Face this side towards crowd for the best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on its side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 982

You deserved it 59 167

Cut short

By Shut up - 24/08/2022 11:00 - United States

Today, I realized my parents, especially my dad, interrupt me so often when I'm talking that I've become completely accustomed to being interrupted whenever I speak. When they aren't interrupting me, they're either ignoring me, or just not acknowledging me. They still wonder why I don't talk much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 113

Think of the environment

By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 924

You deserved it 10 627

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from two years working abroad and my parents had a surprise party to welcome me back… and introduce me to my baby brother. Turns out my mum got pregnant while I was away and convinced the whole family to keep it a secret so it would be a big surprise. He’s almost a year old already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 94

Late term

By disappointed - 10/12/2020 20:02 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I had to pick my son up from jail. He was pulled over for having a busted tail light, gave the officer his licence, realized he gave the officer his fake ID and then the dumbass gave the cop his real one. Is it too late for a vasectomy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 498

Tense situation

By mother to be - 04/08/2014 13:20 - United States

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 982

You deserved it 7 098

Three's company

By Geoff - 21/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today I've finally found love and contentment in my wonderful relationships with my girlfriend and boyfriend. We are the perfect thruple and very happy together. My mom has just disowned me because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 627

Business savvy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, my nephew, who I was assured had previous experience, was closing jobs down on the computer after dealing with the customers on the phone without processing the payment for any of their orders. He’s been working for me for weeks. God knows how much money I’ve lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 634

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By Anonymous - 26/08/2021 02:01

Today, my mother broke into my emails and rejected the best job offer I’ve ever had, all because the job is on the other side of the country, and she’s a selfish bitch who doesn't want to be left completely alone, since she has no friends and our relatives don’t speak to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 119

The great pretender

By theraarman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has to pretend to have another boyfriend who isn't me, because her siblings and cousins don't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 230

To each their own emergency

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 82

Godammit Ursula!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my sister has been telling people I’ve been dead for the last 3 months, to cover up the fact she used me to commit identity fraud. We’re identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 81

Classic grandma

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 153

Awks

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 21:23 - United States - Plaquemine

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 004

You deserved it 3 513

Better luck next year

By clewie - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 305

You deserved it 218

Free speech

By christacat - 28/09/2016 10:24 - United States - Delaware

Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 939

Tornado warning

By DontWorryImDead - 04/04/2022 10:00

Today, it's been more than 3 days since a tornado ripped through my neighborhood. Several were injured, and there is millions of dollars of damage. Not a single family member has called, texted, or stopped by to see if I need help or got injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 103

Wash, rince, repeat

By Vicious Cycle - 19/09/2022 04:30 - United States

Today, it has been a month since I was forced to attend my grandmother's birthday party, despite the fact that I was sick at the time. Just as I got better, my mom got sick. Then when she got better, my dad got sick. Finally, now that my dad is better, guess who's sick again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 123

Single life

By idk what to do - 04/03/2021 00:30

Today, I'm 22 year-old woman, and my entire family thinks something is wrong with me because I've never been in a relationship. I'm starting to believe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 166

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 105

Grifters gonna grift

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 05:01 - United States - Troy

Today, my sister is famous after lying on TikTok about being abused as a child. Everyone believes her and she's selling books and scamming people out of money. She also keeps posting videos saying the family is tormenting her. None of us have spoken to her in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 88

Manipulation

By Willow McGarrigle - 04/06/2020 23:00

Today, my ex, who I only dated for 3 months, told me the only reason why he dated me was because he thought my sister was hot, and he just wanted to get closer to her. So thank you for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 154

Nepotism rules

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 10:59

Today, over a year after my aunt started working for my dad, her timesheets are 8 months overdue. Dad gets mad at me when I complain. She has no consequences, even though business taxes will be very late. She complains about taxes on her 6-figure salary, while I'm part-time hourly. I wish I could find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 114

Force of habit, or just mean?

By leogs23 - 02/03/2021 20:01

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 84

Stashed

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 00:01

Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 111

Private freakout

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 00:00

Today, my sister ended punching my mother in the face. Blood just leaked everywhere and everything just went downhill. I'm so scared and traumatized from witnessing it. I can’t get the scene out of my head, can’t fall asleep, can’t stop crying, want to puke, want to yell. I just can’t anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 309

Tense

By This complicates things - 06/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my relationship with my sister-in-law has never been the greatest, so I've been trying to improve it. Any progress I may have made was destroyed when I accidentally slammed a car door shut with her hand in it. Good news: Her hand is not broken. Bad news: She absolutely refuses to believe it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 107

Steve? Pete?

By somefamily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Wayne

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 444

You deserved it 4 509

New BFF unlocked

By Jeremy - 28/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 527

Deadbeat

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 07:01 - Ireland

Today, exactly a year after he ended our relationship days before our son's first Christmas and told me he would always be in mine and our sons lives, I learned my ex got a new girlfriend several months ago, who more than likely is the reason he stopped calling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 155

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The Top

Today, after I spaced out for 3 minutes, the guy in front of me asked if I was interested in him. I replied that I'm not gay. It turns out "he" was a woman, not a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 328

Today, after months of enduring my neighbor's relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 328

You deserved it 4 037

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 949

You deserved it 5 532

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 678

You deserved it 4 367

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 829

You deserved it 1 390

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 5 337