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The great escape

By Ethan - 13/11/2025 22:00

Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 124

Slice of life

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my son was crying because he wanted to listen to a song that he and Daddy listen to. My husband is at work and I can't reach him. I've looked and looked for the song but I can't find it. My husband has such wack taste in music I don't know where to look, and my son is too upset to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 70

Cough up

By Thilo Pieper - 24/10/2025 15:00

Today, I missed a free flight paid by the company I was supposed to work for, because I was sick. I was then told that I had to pay myself later. Should I have never gotten so sick that I had to miss that flight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 108

The more you know

By Anonymous - 02/06/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, my smart toilet analyzed my “data” and sent a health alert to my entire family group chat. With charts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 430

Cool

By Pauline - 14/12/2025 00:00

Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 169

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was in a quiet meeting on Teams using noise-cancelling AirPods when my coworkers started giggling. I assumed someone’s mic was acting up. Turns out, my mic was on, and the mysterious squeaking noise was my chair… or so I thought. Nope. My dog was also behind me licking a balloon for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 91

Out of service

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 20:00

Today, after I injured my left wrist from holding my nephew the wrong way for too many hours on New Year's, and found out that it would optimistically take 4-6 weeks to heal, this morning I managed to give myself second degree burns on my right hand from handling a tray I didn't know was hot. So that's three weeks with no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 148

Pipe down

By ExCoworker - 27/09/2025 00:00

Today, my ex got mad at me because I made her shut up. She started a new job six months ago in sales, and all she does in the time we have to work in a team as volunteers is whine about her customers. She even started treating us (other volunteers) like her customers, to the point that we feel uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 89

Don't threaten me with a good time

By Anonymous - 14/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I received a package in the mail from a guy, with no warning. He then blocked me. It was a strap on. What do I even do with this thing now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 138

Extra layers

By wizard - 22/02/2026 22:00

Today, I've now lost two hundred pounds and learned that I actually do have a pretty decently-sized dick, it's just been buried under fat for most of my life. Too bad I'm 42 and nobody wants a damn thing to do with a 42 year-old virgin, unless you want to quote a stale Steve Carell movie and laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 100

Rat race

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 09:00

Today, I work in sales and my coworker was activating two lines. A customer walks up to her and gets checked in. She finds out he wanted to activate as well. I was finishing up with a customer but instead of me helping this next guy, she made him wait for her instead. I got no sales today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 80

Smash that button

By Ihategamersex - 26/12/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is a full-time gamer, said to me during sex, "I want to right click you so bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 117

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 72

Yippee!

By Such a rush - 27/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 127

One simple trick

By HotAndBotheredAndSad - 25/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I finally made my fiancé orgasm with oral without his help. He asked me what I did differently. It turns out, I was just sad and depressed because he hasn’t made the effort to make me orgasm in months. I can’t ask without feeling like I’m intruding on his busy schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 129

Unusual home dynamic

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that my husband can call me a hoarder because I hide stuff for my son's lunch so it's his to eat. Not only is that what mothers do for their loved kids, he has been hoarding and hiding $100+ PlayStation store credits. Hoarding his own boy's prize for doing well, and now blames me if our son is slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 97

It's the new thing

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 20:00

Today, my 14 year-old son got into a fight with his 15 year-old cousin. I say fight, my son just practically lamped him into orbit. When I yelled and asked why he did that, my son said, "He was mogging me." I had to get my phone out to look up what that even meant. I'm still not sure what it means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 78

Rough night

By paul - 01/06/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. from a nightmare in which my stalker ex was my Uber driver, but I woke up before he killed me. I fell back asleep and woke up after several more people attacked me and I fought them off with pepper spray, and found out more people were looking for me because they got 13 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 91

Relaxed

By Anonymous - 16/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 150

The world is a scary place, best be prepared

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 215

Saucy minx

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my date realised he wasn’t getting sex, even though it was the mythical third date when sex is supposedly guaranteed, he asked for the bill while I was still halfway through my main course, paid his share to the penny, and left. He'd driven me there, so I had to get a bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 123

Somebody that I used to know

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was thinking about this girl who I have feelings for. I haven't talked to her in three years, and recently developed these feelings. Out of curiosity, I asked her friend what NOT this girl's type is. She pretty much described me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 218

Boo!

By Repeal2A - 11/09/2025 12:00

Today, I was protesting a newly-opened gun store near my house, demanding safer streets and fewer firearms. My husband and the troglodytes he works with turned up and went inside to browse. Later, he raged at me for embarrassing him in front of his buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 554

Hang in there

By Suligi - 06/07/2025 09:00 - Philippines

Today, I feel like a failure. I've lost my will, again, because of the fear that it might happen again, and things might not get better. But I'll still try and I hope (please Lord) things will go positively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 130

Modern romance

By Not today Satan - 29/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé said we should get married in a Satanic temple. He's already found one he likes, and says we should get matching tattoos instead of rings. Never date a man who didn't have a rebellious period as a teenager, or it'll come out in his 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 315

Classic

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 12:00

Today, I got a strand of dental floss stuck in my teeth. The only thing that hurts more than my mouth is the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 69

No more fun

By ShyBear - 21/11/2025 20:00

Today, my partner called me from urgent care because his jaw was hurting. Apparently he now has lockjaw from going down on me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 117

Eeeeeek!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 22:00

Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 150

Who am I?

By Carrie - 27/12/2025 22:00

Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 100

Reddish flag?

By wtf - 19/02/2026 20:00

Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 62

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The Top

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 3 897

Today, I found out that all the birthday presents and decorations I bought for my son's birthday got lost in transit. I ordered them two weeks in advance, just in case something went wrong. His birthday is today and his party is tomorrow. Guess who's going to be making a Walmart trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 97

Today, I realised that anyone who claims they enjoyed spending quality time together with their spouse and children during quarantine is a liar, a big fat liar. I know my kids aren’t even 10 yet, but god, I can’t wait for them to get houses of their own and move the fuck out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 2 073

Today, I got into a fight with my husband. I told him we’re a stereotypical couple, where the wife is exhausted from doing all the housework and raising the kids. He looked me in the eye and told me I’m lucky he’s still around after how I “let myself go after the third kid.” I have diastasis recti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 238

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 4 625

Today, I was walking down the train station steps, in no rush, as my train wasn't due to depart for another 10 minutes. I managed to trip down the last 5 steps and break my ankle. Oh, and I got to watch my train drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 542

You deserved it 350