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By No batteries nor WiFi needed! - 09/02/2026 00:00

Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 101

That was quick

By chiquisamantha09 - 10/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to a Speed Dating event because the apps just ain’t doing it for me. After a while of talking, the first guy I sat with told me, “You are way too out of shape to have high standards and expectations.” I got up and left the place in tears. This is the world of dating while plus-sized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 398

Help needed!

By HUH? - 12/02/2026 15:00

Today, my wife snapped at me for never having sex with her. Any time I try, she tells me to stop, but apparently sometimes she wants me to ignore her pleas and keep going. Sometimes she actually wants me to stop, though, and she won't tell me how to differentiate the two. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 87

Love hearts, love hurts

By Suzyy - 14/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is traveling to his terminally ill grandmother's for Valentine's Day weekend. He said he "doesn't know if she'll pass soon; gotta visit her just in case." He gave me a box of chocolate-coated strawberries to make up for it. I'm allergic to strawberries, and he has known this for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 131

You get what you give

By Anonymous - 17/02/2026 22:00

Today, because of my wife’s inability to keep her nasty opinions to herself, the last of our children told us via text that they won’t be visiting anymore, or letting us see our grandchildren. So now it’s just me and her, financially trapped in this marriage until one of us dies of old age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 148

Love is…

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 15:00

Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 155

Panic

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 09:00

Today, I was supposed to be on my way to Hawaii for a long-planned family vacation, but I had an anxiety attack that I couldn't explain. Now I'm lying in bed and crying, and my phone is blowing up with texts and calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 204

My little boy is all grown up

By Jax - 26/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 54

Ridiculous

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 12:00

Today, I was detained for 20 minutes by security for stealing shopping bags. I didn’t, I used my own bags-for-life, so he thought I didn’t pay for them. They were from a different shop entirely. Twenty fricking minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 55

Mistaken identity

By Crushed - 09/03/2026 15:00

Today, I saw a man at the gym glancing at me. I went over and said, "Are you ogling me?" kind of low key flirtatiously. He said, "No, I'm working out. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 650

Very irritable bowel syndrome

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 09:00

Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 73

Take the W

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 03:00

Today, I won my custody battle and I get to keep my deceased husband's kids. I know I should be happy but I'm getting so much hate from my former in-laws for taking the kids away from their "real family", even though they wanted to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 67

Sorry about your dick, bro

By footinmouth - 14/03/2026 22:00

Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 477

Hangry

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 92

Insurance scam

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that they're suing my best friend's parents because I broke my leg at their house. I've been begging and pleading and fighting with them not to but they won't listen. They keep saying that it's not personal and it's just a legal thing. Happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 71

Gimme my money

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 27/03/2026 09:00

Today, someone was sent to our house to fix our broken garage door. Mom asked me to pay for it, telling me she'd pay me back this weekend. It was supposed to be about $300 and some change. The door was so broken, it ended up costing $1000, cleaning out my whole savings account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 62

Love is hell

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 03:00

Today, after my long distance "boyfriend" told me he loved me more than the world, he asked for advice on how to talk to girls. He already has a girl from class in mind. What's worse is that I actually haven't broken up with him yet because I know about his home life. I can't help but feel like I wasted my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 370

Keep it professional

By Heather and her dog - 30/03/2026 22:00

Today, during an important Zoom meeting, I insisted my dog was calm and well-behaved. To prove it, I picked him up. He immediately sneezed directly into my open mouth while my camera was on and my boss was speaking. Everyone saw and heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 480

Tech issues

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 16:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, I installed an update on my computer and it's decided WiFi doesn't exist at all. Not on my desktop and not in settings. I'm currently bedbound for weeks due to chronic illness and it's my main source of entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 84

Passionate

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 20:00 - Australia

Today, I spent 10 minutes passionately explaining a concept on the board while the class was unusually quiet. When I turned around, half the students were trying not to laugh. I had written the entire explanation with a marker that was completely dried out. The board was blank. I essentially gave a TED Talk to a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 372

Poker face at all times

By loss.jpg - 21/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 301

Time to chime in

By Women don't owe men shit - 23/04/2026 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 295

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 95

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 115

Let me celebrate!

By poopface82 - 01/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I just passed an important exam. Hours after I passed, I felt a tickle in my throat. I have COVID. I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 107

Out of reach

By Yudith - 05/05/2025 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my male cat's cone is slightly bigger than his sister's. That means when he eats, the food keeps falling off his raised plate, he can barely reach it when it's on the floor, it passes his mouth to go under his chin, etc. He has to wear the damn thing for two weeks. On his behalf, FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 125

Not so tech savvy

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Kailua

Today, in Home Ec, I struggled to open the microwave for almost 10 minutes in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 367

Get better locks

By Aww! You shouldn't have! ....REALLY! - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my friends, led by my best friend, threw me a surprise party. Bearing a cake, they all happily yelled, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" by suddenly barging in… through the bathroom door. I was on the toilet, in the middle of taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 71

Security!

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 76

A bit of an overreaction

By lisa - 18/05/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 910

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The Top

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 148

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 838

Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 1 809

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 250

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 235

You deserved it 57 391

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 696

You deserved it 37 547