The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Living the dream

By rightinthekarma - 19/12/2012 15:26 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 997

You deserved it 82 605

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 221

You deserved it 12 041

Date night

By JulleandCici - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 084

You deserved it 5 069

By going to the dentist - 31/07/2018 16:05 - Slovenia - Maribor

Today, I unconsciously clenched my jaw together when I woke up from a nightmare. A part of my tooth broke off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 024

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 04:34 - United States - Thibodaux

Today, I watched my high school crush pull into the parking spot next to me, and then almost immediately he started backing out once he saw me parked next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 196

You deserved it 1 649

Cough up

By Nezje - 08/08/2018 18:30

Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 876

You deserved it 183

Check that expiration date man, it's later than you think

By dk_2k16 - 12/04/2016 20:29 - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 586

You deserved it 18 870

Squits

By fishtities - 07/04/2016 04:56 - United States - Dallas

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 728

You deserved it 1 748

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 594

You deserved it 6 920

Breaking Bad Habits

By FML Videos - 24/08/2018 19:30

Help! I'm stuck!

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 90

Hey guys

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, the cockroach infestation at my house has gotten so bad that I can now tell the difference between male and female cockroaches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 354

You deserved it 4 456

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 03:38 - United States

Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 918

You deserved it 6 875

By sadinseattle - 22/07/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 376

You deserved it 17 550

By khannnn - 20/03/2016 18:25 - United States

Today, looking to hire new tech support members, but due to not looking over any resumés, my ex-wife is now one of our potential candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 089

You deserved it 7 512

Phantom shitter

By eirbear - 14/09/2018 18:30

Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 185

You deserved it 3 451

Like what you see?

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 08:08

Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my cousin, instead of the girl who shares the same name. She liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 1 663

Jeez, chill out dude

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 17:30 - Australia - Peakhurst

Today, my wife is still angry with me, 11 years later, for not allowing her to give our son her surname. Damn you, your surname is your ex-husband's name. You never changed it back. How on Earth is it acceptable for my child to carry your ex's surname? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 218

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 00:33 - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 458

You deserved it 6 772

By Salesadmin - 28/09/2018 20:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that a supervisor at work was rude to two brides, resulting in 30k being refunded. Instead of her losing her job, I now have to take over weddings on top of my already full workload. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 625

You deserved it 152

By virginwhore - 18/01/2015 06:29

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 085

You deserved it 3 515

By livingstonjamie - 13/01/2015 08:28 - Australia - Hampton

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 772

You deserved it 2 452

Misunderstood

By Blah - 24/01/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 363

You deserved it 9 222

Thanks, I guess

By ST3PH - 09/07/2009 19:17 - Canada

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 728

You deserved it 3 718

Take Your Vitamins

By FML Videos - 27/09/2018 18:30

The struggle is real.

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 67

Communication tool

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 366

You deserved it 6 200

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 03:14 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, my boss decided that, because I got dragged into a vacation that I didn't even want to go on, she was going to take a promotion back before she even gave it to me. I don't know what's worse, losing the promotion or going on that crappy vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 385

You deserved it 1 837

You ain't heard anything, right?

By blabbermouth - 08/10/2012 17:26 - South Africa - Port Elizabeth

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 37 446

By marie0908 - 17/12/2014 05:29 - France - Siros

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 314

You deserved it 13 627

By fail2.0 - 27/10/2018 22:00 - Sweden - Skinnskatteberg

Today, I was going to put up wallpaper in my bedroom, so I asked my stepdad to switch off the electricity as there was an output on the wall. I started to cut out the wallpaper to fit and accidentally stuck my finger in there. The power was not off. An ambulance had to come check my heart rhythm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 009

You deserved it 477

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Painful Health Awkward Kids Cops Miscellaneous Money Insomnia Doctor Family Parents Work Annoying Food Friends Love Relatable AITA LGBTQIA+ Embarrassing First Dates Cheating Frustration Religion School Porn Cars Transportation Sex Ironic

The Top

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 3 947

Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 721

You deserved it 302

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 135

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 083

You deserved it 68 673

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 246

You deserved it 96 515

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 053

You deserved it 82 030