Animals and Dogs: Doggy dog world

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 173

You deserved it 1 187

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 9 141

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 951

You deserved it 12 988

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 475

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 306

You deserved it 27 614

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 650

You deserved it 28 895

Thirst trap

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 935

You deserved it 4 284

By haileyjunkin - 22/11/2011 17:53

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 661

You deserved it 3 311

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 3 865

Nature ain't all that great

By Lucky me - 09/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Weert

Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 87

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 610

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 8 February 2017 12:00

Extreme Kylie Jenner lip challenge

jcash52426 5

Wednesday 8 February 2017 19:25

Dog 1 human 0

Comments

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 8 February 2017 12:00

Extreme Kylie Jenner lip challenge

TonierShadow 19

Wednesday 8 February 2017 12:34

Sounds like the plot to the next Rocky movie.

heart_aussie 32

Wednesday 8 February 2017 19:10

So... she won then? ;)

jcash52426 5

Wednesday 8 February 2017 19:25

Dog 1 human 0

OhPuhleeze 23

Wednesday 8 February 2017 19:46

what a bitch!

tenniemo 19

Thursday 9 February 2017 0:40

Don't know why this posted anonymous since I did it while logged in!

Kqzza 13

Thursday 9 February 2017 6:26

What kind of dog is she? A boxer? ;)

JPlays 3

Friday 10 February 2017 3:18

Look on the bright side. At least you won!

1hardasswoman 10

Friday 10 February 2017 7:50

Dog: "That'll teach my human to ignore me."

dabum18 5

Monday 13 February 2017 4:44

Been there also

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I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 266

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I agree, your life sucks 17 215

You deserved it 29 696