Work

By Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends - 12/01/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 211

You deserved it 3 210

By georgiamarshall_ - 09/01/2013 10:42 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 403

You deserved it 34 168

georgiamarshall_ tells us more.

georgiamarshall_ 11

Thursday 10 January 2013 3:11

Hi all! Original poster here. I understand most of you don't think it's possible to accidentally stick your finger up instead of crossing them, but it's kind of an in group joke with all of my work friends that we flip the bird to each other. I guess habit took over! I am so ashamed, but at least she didn't realise what it meant and her mother wasn't around!

By whateven - 08/01/2013 17:45 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 566

You deserved it 2 821

By AnonUser464 - 08/01/2013 16:40 - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 541

You deserved it 3 430

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 372

You deserved it 2 257

By fucked five ways to friday - 03/01/2013 23:36 - United States - Stayton

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 798

You deserved it 2 458

By habassistant - 02/01/2013 15:49 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 070

You deserved it 5 256

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 07:28 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 10 225

By offtothejobcentre - 31/12/2012 22:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 422

You deserved it 25 160

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 468

You deserved it 4 069

By shaving kit - 31/12/2012 10:17

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 6 544

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 07:58 - United States

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 725

You deserved it 6 559

By BAMN2187 - 31/12/2012 03:51 - United States

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 014

You deserved it 9 067

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 720

You deserved it 2 845

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 3 503

By Anonymous - 29/12/2012 08:25 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 775

You deserved it 3 125

By Iknoweverything - 22/12/2012 08:06 - United States - Mankato

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 787

You deserved it 3 217

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 455

You deserved it 6 549

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 22:06 - United States

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 455

You deserved it 4 270

By ehrmagahd - 19/12/2012 05:17 - United States - Decatur

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 645

You deserved it 3 857

ehrmagahd tells us more.

ehrmagahd 15

Wednesday 19 December 2012 19:07

Yeah, I live in a town with 4 colleges in it and nearby, so it's very difficult to find a job. I've applied literally EVERYWHERE that I could even remotely be considered for, and this was the only option I had, so I took it, and I'm very grateful for it! Even if people tend to act like idiots towards me

By lingling - 16/12/2012 00:57 - United States - Germantown

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 153

You deserved it 5 992

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 2 558

By Anonymous - 14/12/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom - Bridgwater

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 865

You deserved it 11 346

Testing times

By Anonymous - 13/12/2012 17:04 - United Kingdom - Bromley

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 200

You deserved it 2 774

Fixed it

By Anonymous - 12/12/2012 03:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 914

You deserved it 8 684

By karachii - 11/12/2012 17:07 - United States

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 270

You deserved it 2 091

karachii tells us more.

karachii 5

Wednesday 12 December 2012 5:57

OP here. Guess I used the wrong wording. I didn't really "beg", I did the whole apply, wait, go in and follow up thing. Only problem is that when I followed up, I gave my first name only. My name isn't that common, so I didn't realize there would be another one. They did like me, they just wouldn't have interviewed me because I didn't have enough experience. This actually happened about a month ago (had to fudge it for FML of course P: ), and since then I've gotten a different job and am working to get that experience. So happy ending :)

By golfstar11 - 11/12/2012 02:05 - United States - Savannah

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 093

You deserved it 2 193