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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Teenagers

    The nickname that sticks

    By ap84 - 27/02/2009 21:47 - United States

    Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 83 885
    You deserved it 5 635
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    Miscellaneous Cats Television NSFW TV shows Intimacy Work Customers Embarrassing School Education Health Cooking Awkward Babysitter Kids Argument Parents Anger issues Video games Family Cute TikTok Sleep Love Gross Poopoo peepee Money Drunk Weddings
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    Today, my mom caught me watching porn, and now she has learned just how easy it is to access porn online, she's sending as many messages as she can to every porn site she can find, telling them they should shut down for the sake of Christian decency. She actually thinks they’ll listen to her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 226
    You deserved it 264
    Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 141
    You deserved it 5 604
    Today, I learned that when your contract includes the words “additional duties, as required” it actually means the 4 other people on your team will all stick some of their least favourite duties on you without you noticing, so that you end up doing 50% of the workload of a 5 person team. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 468
    You deserved it 87
    Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 825
    You deserved it 2 994
    Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 095
    You deserved it 2 288
    Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 560
    You deserved it 4 785
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