LGBTQIA+

Pride

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 04:00

Today, my husband found out the owner of the shop across from our shop is homophobic. Our daughter is bisexual, so he’s started Pride-themed warfare against the shop with flags everywhere. It’s a rather conservative neighbourhood and our customers have deserted us in droves. We may have to close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 645

Some of these things aren't related

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 18:00

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 502

Shipping culture

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 14:00

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 124

Slightly homophobic, but OK…

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 186

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 305

You deserved it 255

We have so much in common

By Frank - 19/09/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years confessed to me that she had sex with my best friend before she started to date me. Funny thing is, I'm bi and had sex with the same best friend at around the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 694

Parents react to announcement [GONE WRONG]

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 00:30

Today, I came out as bisexual while we were in the car. My mom started crying behind the steering wheel, driving at 85 mph. She later told my dad, even though I asked her not to. My dad said, "Give it a month, he'll grow out of it." I realized I was bi 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 396

Soul searching

By Anonymous - 05/06/2023 03:00

Today my ex-boyfriend came out as gay. My family were like, “It’s about time! Oh honey child, we knew he was a major queen the day you brought him home, that’s why we let you share a room on sleepovers. No way was he going to try anything.” It’s true, we dated for 5 months and I’m still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 328

Moral panic #2766

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how "gays" are destroying the "sanctity of marriage." I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 305

You deserved it 2 498

Who's the asshat in this scenario?

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I will never see my siblings again because I refused to attend her wedding to another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 528

Take the hint

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 01:59

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 073

You deserved it 626

Be honest

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 08:01

Today, I’m gay but I'm currently on a date with a woman, because when we met yesterday, I was slightly tipsy and thought she was a dude when I asked her out. Plus she said her name is Max, but in the sober light of today, I realised she’s a very tomboyish lady with no boobs. Help me somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 1 829

The straights are at it again

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 12:00

Today, I came out to my parents. My mother laughed and, when I asked her what was so funny, she told me, "Well, most gays are attractive, muscular, funny and can dress very well. You're ugly, fat, boring, and have no sense of fashion. Good luck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 304

Too late

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was, "Don't turn gay." I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 352

You deserved it 11 330

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59 - Canada

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 419

So close, yet so far

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 04:00

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 338

Not the best reaction

By Mark - 31/08/2021 15:01

Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 241

Late bloomer

By etsl - 26/10/2008 12:07 - France

Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 365

You deserved it 15 359

Bizarre love triangle

By too close for comfort - 19/02/2023 02:00

Today, my guy friend told me he wanted to try being with another guy. I told him I’d help him anyway I could. Who knew his “help” was him wanting me (a woman) to help him get hard since he couldn’t get it up for the guy? Guess not letting him grope me or jerk him off meant I’m unsupportive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 269

Ace in the hole

By anna - 15/05/2021 07:58

Today, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero desire for sex. I’m well into my 20s and not a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 188

The Brewers?

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 14:00

Today, my mom is mad that she went clubbing and not one single guy offered to buy her a drink, but a couple of women did, which just pissed her off even more. I should point out the club she chose is the biggest gay club in our city, but then she’ll probably switch to being mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 115

Tonight, on Weird Parents…

By Anonymous - 10/08/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 892

You deserved it 7 349

Experimentation

By sex ruins friendships - 13/12/2021 11:01

Today, I tried to reach out to my friend after not hearing from her for a while. One night while drinking, we both admitted to being bi-curious and decided to experiment with each other. I thought it was just harmless exploration, but apparently this makes her never want to speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 268

Proselytism

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 16:00 - Brazil - São Paulo

Today, after many days of glances, smiles, and small talk, I tried to kiss a man from my gym in the parking lot. He dodged and asked why. I said I thought it was what he wanted, given his apparent interest. He said that he's only like that because he does missionary work, and wanted to become a friend. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 839

Crossed Wires

By Anonymous - 01/03/2020 15:00

Today, while on Grindr, I saw that this guy I'm friends with and have liked for a while now had messaged me. I got all excited, just for it to be a picture of him flipping me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 251

Misunderstood

By not a phobe - 16/07/2020 08:02

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 279

The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 1 058

Barking up the wrong tree

By yblamemebiatch - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found out a colleague spread lies about me because she somehow thinks I'm to blame for the hot guy at work not wanting to date her. Perhaps she should blame his fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 737

You deserved it 1 446

Weird assumption

By Thanks Mom - 20/05/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 162

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 116

You deserved it 4 377

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The Top

Today, while I was normally and gently cleaning my glasses with my shirt they snapped in half. This is the second time this has happened, with the exact same glasses. The optometrist got me another pair last time, but this time they said no because it was too suspicious. I now have to buy $150 glasses again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 644

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 248

You deserved it 5 047

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 237

You deserved it 3 239

Today, I came home from work to find construction workers repaving my street. I work the graveyard shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 106

Today, my 6”8 boyfriend is scared to death of his 5”2 mother to the point where it’s not funny, it’s quite concerning. He dropped a full pan of chilli in our house and cleaned it so obsessively in case his mom found out, in our house. I’m almost afraid to ask what went on in his childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 164

Today, my mom came in to hug me while I was sleeping, or so I thought. I woke up and tried to hug her back, only to find she had wrapped a tape measure around me. She was trying to measure my bust size to win a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 881

You deserved it 379