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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Ironic

    What were the chances?

    By stpry of my life - 27/02/2009 22:58 - United States

    Today, I was babysitting my 5 year-old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 62 125
    You deserved it 7 020
    Share  

    Squirting the night away

    By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 541
    You deserved it 84 324
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    Keywords

    Technology Work Management Health Allergies Medication Family Miscellaneous Abuse Money Funerals NSFW Sex Ironic Intimacy Cats Anger issues Television TV shows Customers Embarrassing School Education Cooking Awkward Babysitter Kids Argument Parents Video games
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 13 872
    You deserved it 57 304
    Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 19 715
    You deserved it 1 757
    Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 077
    You deserved it 116
    Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 478
    You deserved it 234
    Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 185
    You deserved it 449
    Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 8 337
    You deserved it 40 770
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