Health

By stitchesgirl12 - 07/04/2015 16:03 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 166

You deserved it 3 545

stitchesgirl12 tells us more.

Wednesday 8 April 2015 18:40

OP here! No, my stitches weren't anywhere near my butt, I have a bunch on my arm. And, well.. the doctor sewed me up really tight, and I legitimately ripped them while pushing. Lmao. Not my finest moment, but definitely FML worthy. The doctors in the Niagara Region were half asleep over the Easter weekend, my sewed up wound actually looks like a ******.

By TheRunaway21 - 06/04/2015 20:49 - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 5 407

By Gilan - 06/04/2015 00:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 039

You deserved it 2 408

Gilan tells us more.

Gilan 14

Tuesday 7 April 2015 17:41

So a follow up. Once my head felt better I did buy her a new one. I do see a few asking what I did to deserve this. She's only three and didn't realize there would be any consequences, only thinking it would be funny. The only thing I can think of doing to even possibly deserve it is I told her she needed to stop running around yelling. But nah, all's well now I guess

By Itsbeen8years - 05/04/2015 19:18 - Slovakia - Stupava

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 3 876

By tardspawn - 05/04/2015 15:38 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 627

You deserved it 4 016

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 3 034

By NotDrunk - 04/04/2015 00:42 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was pulled over by a policeman. He thought I was drunk, after doing the "walk in a straight line" test and the "finger-to-nose" test. It wasn't until after I got a fine that I got it through to him that I have cerebellar ataxia, and that I wasn't drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 054

You deserved it 2 612

Suspicious

By HtotheFtotheS - 03/04/2015 19:05 - United Kingdom - Wisbech

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 191

You deserved it 3 836

By glocked and goaded - 03/04/2015 18:08 - United States - Sun City

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 847

You deserved it 2 818

By Ravhi Karia - 03/04/2015 13:41 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 805

You deserved it 4 092

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 072

You deserved it 3 387

DMV blues

By usadisvet - 02/04/2015 06:43 - United States - Loudon

Today, at the DMV, I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and that my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, placing my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 353

You deserved it 2 648

By technical - 31/03/2015 02:50 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 2 381

By Kryometric - 29/03/2015 06:38 - United States - Coupeville

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 983

You deserved it 2 585

Not helping

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 15:50 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 815

You deserved it 2 340

By Bonecrusher - 27/03/2015 22:50 - United States - Sonoma

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 431

You deserved it 5 356

By Anonymous - 26/03/2015 18:36 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 010

You deserved it 2 652

By anonymous - 26/03/2015 03:43 - United States

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 919

You deserved it 2 941

By anonymous - 25/03/2015 04:24 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 341

You deserved it 3 292

By uhoh.. - 22/03/2015 19:51 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 441

You deserved it 3 018

By noway - 22/03/2015 04:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 3 462

By ellabellabooboo - 22/03/2015 02:27 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 310

You deserved it 2 686

By pikachu_43 - 21/03/2015 15:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 672

You deserved it 4 215

Work out

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 562

You deserved it 4 403

By quietecho95 - 20/03/2015 15:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 5 392

quietecho95 tells us more.

quietecho95 11

Saturday 21 March 2015 20:26

This is the OP. Actually I had a baby a few months ago with him. We don't live together and it's common for him to disappear for days at a time. He's okay. It was actually a suicide attempt and he's in a clinic now. We were texting but he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to freak out because this makes 6 attempts in a year. My parents didn't tell me because they were leaving town and knew there was no way I could take my infant into ICU.