Embarrassing

Caught in 480p

By fxck - 04/02/2015 19:28

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumbs-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 3 589

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 2 711

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 016

You deserved it 3 349

By Anonymous - 12/01/2015 09:46 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 330

You deserved it 7 784

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 701

You deserved it 3 054

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 3 918

Shy pooper

By privatebathroomneeded - 16/12/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 954

You deserved it 8 099

Bad boy

By dogdays - 10/11/2014 01:12 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, as usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 048

You deserved it 7 242

Headshot

By HarleyDavison - 05/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Harrisonville

Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 429

You deserved it 5 475

It was supportive, I swear

By oopsydaisy - 01/10/2014 02:20 - United States

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 12 056

Grammy award winner

By blow away - 28/07/2014 04:36 - United States - Middletown

Today, my husband played a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 408

You deserved it 4 580

Pspspspspsps

By imalosertho - 11/06/2014 01:01 - Canada - Truro

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 026

You deserved it 19 467

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 996

You deserved it 7 935

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 14:52 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of, "Who the hell is this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 692

You deserved it 4 704

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 328

You deserved it 7 831

I'm not okay

By butterbody - 23/03/2014 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 053

You deserved it 6 817

Slippin' up

By why - 14/03/2014 23:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 526

You deserved it 37 909

Keep it to yourself

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 16:31 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 123

You deserved it 46 700

Let the man be happy!

By Anonymous - 16/02/2014 19:21 - United States - Glasgow

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 246

You deserved it 3 874

Hey!

By QueueJumper - 11/02/2014 00:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 573

You deserved it 17 645

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 912

You deserved it 6 532

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 130

What's up?

By madib33 - 11/01/2014 05:49 - United States

Today, after much debate, I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 488

You deserved it 9 985

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 439

You deserved it 4 048

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 127

You deserved it 16 454

Face gone out of control

By UnfortunatelyAmusing - 05/11/2013 00:25 - United States - Princeton Junction

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 312

You deserved it 8 683

Got talent?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 20:56 - United States - Collingswood

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 983

You deserved it 12 249

Brain fog

By dhskkf - 28/08/2013 00:23 - United States

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 702

You deserved it 7 376

Keep quiet

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 797

You deserved it 3 485

Leave me be

By hipster glasses - 16/08/2013 11:08 - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 749

You deserved it 3 729

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Cats Television Intimacy NSFW TV shows Work Customers Embarrassing School Education Health Cooking Kids Awkward Babysitter Argument Parents Anger issues Video games Family Cute TikTok Sleep Love Gross Poopoo peepee Money Drunk Weddings

The Top

Today, my mother won't let me intern at a prestigious college, working with graduate students and professors, and being paid, because she doesn't want to drive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 277

You deserved it 5 055

Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 92

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 119

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 157

You deserved it 3 687

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 1 327

Today, I’m 24. I can either be employed and have money, but having to work weekend nights and have scattered days off, or I can be unemployed and not have money to go out enjoy my city. I haven’t had a weekend to myself since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 413