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Workplace hook ups are never a good idea

By Fernanda - 02/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned I have to kiss my career goodbye, all because I decided to give a colleague road head while he was driving to a company function. I was fired and arrested for indecent exposure. Now it’s all on my record and my Master’s in Early Childhood Education can basically be used for toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 225

You guys have fun

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 22:00 - Denmark

Today, I went to swim with my husband and baby daughter. My husband packed the bags and said twice that he'd packed my swim suit. He hadn't. I spent 10 euros for a 10 minute bath, while he got to swim with our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 110

Seek medical help

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 79

Ungrateful brat

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, despite all I've sacrificed to stay home with my child, and operating a small business while they are in school, my child decided to make a punchline out of me and roasted me in front of the whole family because my husband paid for my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 99

More fiber

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 16:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, after several years of effort in fixing my diet, I finally have consistent, reliable, solid shits, this coming after many decades of loose stools that caused my to clog my toilets regularly with too much toilet paper. Only now, my consistent, reliable, solid shits clog my toilets instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 89

Priorities

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I called off my wedding because I found out he was cheating, but my daughter is more upset that she spent $400 on a bridesmaid's gown and now can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 105

Support local businesses

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 14:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, I found out that my favorite coffee place, which I’ve been meaning to go back to for months, completely shut down. It was one of the only good things about my city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 181

Buyers' market

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I'm a 34 year-old single woman on the dating apps. A guy suggested we try a swing dance lesson as our first date. I said yes. We had a good time both of us and we exchanged numbers. Later I got a text from him saying he had a connection with another match, but we should remain friends for another dance "date". Dude is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 87

Small business woes

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I run a small online shop and I got an order from a new customer. I packed everything, added a handwritten thank-you note… and mixed up the shipping label with another package. One customer got handmade candles, the other got a box of unrelated items and a note saying, “Hope this smells amazing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 311

Caught you slipping

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent my shift as a museum guard politely telling people not to use flash photography. At the end of the day, I leaned against a rope barrier to stretch my back, and the entire thing detached from the wall with a loud crack. A school group turned around just in time to see me standing there holding the rope like I’d tried to steal the exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 310

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my pathetic wannabe influencer sister would not stop recording my kids, even though they and I told her not to. I finally snapped and smashed her phone and now she's threatening to press charges, and our parents are on her side. My kids are scared that they're going to be taken away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 95

Tetchy

By Be polite - 26/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I greeted every passenger cheerfully getting onto my bus all morning. At one stop, I said, “Good morning!” to someone who didn’t respond, so I repeated it louder… only to realize they were wearing headphones and now passengers were staring at me like I was a pissy Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 348

Parents of the year

By lordoftheweird - 30/04/2026 01:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, I found out that I have been secretly paying the bills. All the psych treatments and medication tryouts I took as a kid was paid research. My parents spent all the money on themselves and they still wanted me to do the research. They also lied to my school and told them I was autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 55

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 206

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 126

Family time comes first

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job because my mom and stepdad forced me to go on our family vacation, even though my time off got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 115

Mindreader

By Jimmyperalta - 28/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend began bitching about how I never take her on dates anymore. I suggested one for tomorrow and now she says she doesn’t wanna go, because, “I should ask her on a date without her having to ask.” What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 270

This is our special place

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I just moved to a new house so I was looking for new jogging routes. I ended up in an area I was unaware was a big dogging hotspot. Two couples invited me to threesomes, and when I said no and tried to leave, I had stones and litter thrown at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 58

I did warn you…

By sadmd - 29/04/2026 00:00 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, my elderly patient accused me of not taking good care of her, because, during my time off, she was taken to the hospital for anemia. I tested her for anemia months ago and discussed it with her, and she'd told me that she didn't want to go to the hospital. Guess who everyone believes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 64

Leaky

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 12:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today I woke up to myself (24F) accidentally losing control of my bowels in bed. I’m not sick, just a food intolerance. The worst part is that my fiancé was sound asleep next to me and I had to wake him up to tell him what happened so I could wash the sheets and bed at one in the morning. He's is now sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 76

Same as it ever was

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 491

Shifty

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of effort, I was finally able to open my own full body beauty salon. I’ve been open approximately two hours and I’ve had six genuine customers and three shifty looking dudes trying to ask, without saying the actual words, if we’re one of those rub and tug, happy ending massage parlours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 76

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 16:00 - United States - Palatka

Today, I came two times in a row, for the first time in my life. I'm 45 years-old and I was using my dildo on my myself. I was thinking of my ex, so that's proof my dildo is better. I've been missing out on myself for decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 28

"The report of my death was an exaggeration"

By Luke Mackay - 03/05/2026 08:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my local pub for a drink. There was a giant sign that read, “Welcome to Luke’s celebration of life.” My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 36

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 18:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 35

Cruel dilemma

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have both gout and diabetic neuropathy, meaning my feet are both too numb to feel pain while also being too painful to walk. It is not a fun sensation. Not at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 84

Manchild

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 72

Unstable

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 111

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 07:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 126

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom - Fulham

Today, my kids and husband brought me a bunch of ornamental cabbages for my birthday, rather than flowers. Why? Because, "you're more of a cabbage sort of person." Ah well, guess it's an improvement on last year when they forgot entirely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 38

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 813

You deserved it 6 886

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 747

You deserved it 3 731

Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 325

You deserved it 536

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 063

You deserved it 9 034

Today, at 4 a.m., I woke up so I could check out the blood moon. It looked magnificent, so I took a few photos and went back to bed. When I later got up, I noticed the orange street light outside. I’d been admiring a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 414

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 178