Miscellaneous and Family: He has a point - FML

He has a point

By I'll stop being "bitter" when my life stops sucking - 29/04/2026 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 04:00

Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 108

You little knob

By keelah - 27/06/2014 21:57 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 8 606

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 945

You deserved it 2 688

By Denki - 30/01/2013 12:21 - China - Beijing

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 193

You deserved it 4 518

Charmer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 14:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 1 946

By Brandee - 05/03/2010 01:39 - Canada

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 452

You deserved it 3 217

Unboyfriendable

By Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 104

Reported and blocked

By Stop playing the victim - 17/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 1 198

Them frenchies don't **** around

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 00:02

Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 1 736

Self report

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 14:00 - Norway - Drammen

Today, when going to bed after a night of heavy drinking, my boyfriend told me he was in love with his cousin, and that she’s way prettier than me. Later in the morning, he said it was just "drunk talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 105

Next

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Embarrassing Kids Cars Parenting Healthy Lifestyle Work Awkward Love Confused My ex Parents Vacation Money Sex Health Anxiety Depression Mental health Clothes Alcohol Poopoo peepee Ironic Weddings Birthday Transportation Bodyshaming Divorce NSFW

The Top

The Top

Today, I got into my first car accident with a guy who didn't have a front license plate. Too bad it was a hit-and-run, as the cop said the footage was good enough that if he had had a license there, we could have gotten him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 945

You deserved it 410

Today, our hot water tank got replaced because all our hot water had been smelling old and musty for a month now. There was a dead seagull in the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 301

Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 3 874

Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 369

Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 269

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 499

You deserved it 5 785