Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 846 You deserved it 4 038
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML I agree, your life sucks 353 You deserved it 142
Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 812 You deserved it 4 021
Today, my depression caused me to sleep through my appointment to try and get more antidepressants. We love mental instability. FML I agree, your life sucks 895 You deserved it 135
Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 265 You deserved it 2 379
Today, when my new boyfriend told me he had a thigh fetish, I thought it was cute, until I realised our sex life would mostly be him fawning all over my legs, then dry humping my knees. We’ve been together 3 months and I can count the number of actual shags I’ve had on one hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 787 You deserved it 275