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Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8356) - you deserved it (35605)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

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See, this is why you will die alone. Not because you're overweight, or because you don't have a job- though, those things certainly don't help. But because you have no ambition, no aspirations, no hopes, no desires, no drive. As a woman, I can definitively say that there is nothing less attractive than self-imposed hopelessness. That sort of depression is absolutely contagious. I'm sure you have positive traits, but this post has officially labeled you as the worst sort of loser: a boring loser with no desire to change that.

#9 - On 02/27/2009 at 6:05am by texmas

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http://www.fleshlight.com

"Our soft, pliable Real Feel Super Skin® masturbation sleeves are made from a patented, high-quality material designed to replicate the sensation of penetrative sex.
The molded sleeve comes housed in an attractive and sturdy canister that resembles an ordinary flashlight, allowing for simple and discreet storage.

It's easy to use, clean, and 100% safe. With proper care and usage, your Fleshlight will give you a lifetime of enjoyment!"

#8 - On 02/24/2009 at 2:35pm by botts

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