TWOFLAG's Illustrated FML
Hello my turkeys! What? Turkeys are cute! When they wiggle their little legs, going GOBBLE GOBBLE, they’re worth all the kittens in the worlds. AT THE VERY LEAST. Before I start this article, I’m going to finish my Batman yoghurt and then move this TV which is in the way. OK, I’ll stop messing around. Especially since we’ve got a guest waiting.
A guest who doesn’t want his real identity to be revealed to the general public (probably a KGB secret agent) so we’ll call him by his pseudonym, TWOFLAG (an English sounding pseudonym to disguise his Russian identity, classic). He’s 31 years old, lives “near Strasbourg in France” and he says that he’s unemployed but is starting up as an independent graphics designer-illustrator. If that doesn’t support the conspiracy theory, I don’t know what will.
In any case, to be able to express his artistic side, to create and amuse people, what he needs are “contracts and money”. This immediately becomes a bit more believable. His latest news? “Not much… And how are you?” Well, we’re OK, dear TWOFLAG. Your latest news is taking part in this illustrated FML. That’s not too bad for a start!
His education was “a bit chaotic”; he did some training in sales but didn’t get his high school diploma as he didn’t like what he was doing. He then went on to do little jobs here and there, after which he trained to use Illustrator. This led to a first job as a production technician in advertising (all sorts of placards), then a second job as a production manager, still in advertising. Since then he’s now still looking for a job, so he’s set up his own company. “And here I am!”
Any projects then? “I’m working on a book for children, about a cute (or sort of cute) dog. We’re waiting for feedback from publishers to finalize (or not) the project.”
OK, let’s move on the next part of our spy’s… erm, guest’s interview. I really had to drag it out of him.
Cats or dogs?
I love both, but I have a soft spot for cats.
What have you enjoyed recently at the movies, in music, books and comicbooks?
At the movies, The Avengers, which I really loved. Music: Gotye, which was a gift for my mom to start with but which I ended up liking. Books, books… Books? Hard to pick just one… Ok then, let’s say The Goon, a great series by Eric Powell.
Who are the main artists you like and whose blogs that you visit regularly?
On the Internet, I visit few blogs really, I go through flick-r or fotolog a bit, the café-salé forum, and random illustrators sites… Or I play free games like fourmizzzz… And VDM at least once a week.
Tell us what you enjoy in life, your passions, pastimes, vices and everyday pleasures.
Friends, eating, sleeping, doing nothing much, lazing around and napping.
Tell us a crap joke. Possible joker, you can tell us a personal FML.
Two drunks are propping up a bar, and one says to the other: "How much does a gas weigh?"
The other says "A gas? Well… A gas is a bit like air… It doesn’t weigh anything…"
The first guy then says "OK then… I must’ve shit myself."
Do you have a phobia? If so, what is it?
Spiders and heights.
To finish off, ask yourself a question you would’ve liked to have been asked and then reply if you want to.
What is Spongebob Squarepant’s point of view of pathogenesis of the hermaphrodite squid or oriental Moldavia in an underwater volcanic setting?
-> Only Spongebob Squarepant can answer that question.
Thanks for reading, and see you next week! But first, here are some videos! You know that I like to show you what the Internet can come up with regarding parodies, so first watch the NONONONO cat video. Then watch this. Bye!
If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with het, and she will tell you what you have to do!