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Djausdr's Illustrated FML

 

Hi gang! Many of us on here are finally realizing that summertime has arrived, and we’re hoping that this time it’s for good. To fight the heat, you have two solutions. Either by keeping out of the heat, especially your head, it’s very important. Or make the most of the heat by trying out a new style of cooking. I’ve already made my choice. I’ll be right back; I’ve got things in the oven.

I’m glad to see you again anyway. Let’s get straight to it with our guest, who has a very strange pseudonym. Ladies, Gentlemen, straight from the blog The sky is fallin’, here’s Djaúsðr. “To make it easier and for various accounts and addresses on the Internet, it can be written djausdr but never djausor. It can be pronounced but shouldn’t be attempted. It hurts your tongue.”

Djausdr is 28 and claims to live in a small village of 200 inhabitants where he runs a semi-combat club. This subject may be covered in a future article, it certainly seems like it deserves to be.

“I think I love everything that I do. Except when it doesn’t work out. What I need at the moment is times when things actually go to plan.” He’s quite the philosopher.

At the moment, Djausdr is trying to find a way to move to Paris (this is probably the only serious information in this not so serious article) and he’s learning underwater telepathy (it didn’t remain serious for very long).

As for the last two answers, here they are in full, sorry. Where did today’s artist go to school, and then do for work? “I took part in the Vietnam war. Which meant that I was crap in high school so I switched to a more manual education where I discovered body hair and philosophy. I wanted to study psychology at college but I tripped and ended up in a graphic design school in Paris. They raised dragons by feeding them mushrooms to see if they’d spit out grass, which appalled me. So I moved to Toulouse where I finished my studies all the while trying to avoid becoming an alcoholic. Since getting my diploma, I’ve been looking for a stable job.”

Hmmm, could’ve been worse. What about his projects. “I’d like to set up a graphic design studio with a mandatory naptime, in a near future where there would be flying cars. I’d like to finish writing a book and write two others, write a storyline for a comic book and get an artist to draw it and destroy the black holes with his talent (I can’t name names because I don’t know who the artist is yet), start a band, make a really polished short movie with good equipment and (semi) professional actors, have children to transform them into robots which would probably cause a split with the mother except that she wouldn’t know that I’d already also turned her into a robot during her sleep, and finally, I’d like to enter the national table curling team."

Right then. On to the next bit.

Cats or dogs?
I’m afraid of dogs and cats are too mainstream so let’s say: A TAPIR.

What are the latest things you liked at the movies, musically and in comic books?
I went to see Moonrise Kingdom that I really liked, as with most of Wes Anderson’s stuff (by the way, last night I dreamt that I crept into his studio to discover that he’d fused with Wim Wenders and had turned black).
At the moment I’m constantly listening to the latest Gravenhurst and Liars albums. I have to listen to the latest Sigur Ros album but I keep forgetting.
I’m not really up to date with what’s occurring in the literary world, I take books off shelves a bit randomly. I couldn’t tell you what really got me worked up the last time. The one I do remember is Spinoza fucks Hegel by Jean-Bernard Pouy. I read it in a night.
As for comic books, my dad bought me Blast for Xmas; it knocked me on my ass. I’ve noticed that a second book has come out, I must get it.

Who are the main artists you like and whose blogs you visit regularly?
JanineOdettBarbuForza PedroRoxanne B.KJFNoël RasendrasonGeffroy MondeJuliette Boutant...

What do you enjoy in life, your passions, and your vices, your everyday pleasures?
I like waking up with nice dreams to write down on paper, not to analyze but just to keep a trace of. I discovered quite late in life that I like hiking. There’s nothing better than arriving in a deserted area and sitting on a warm rock in the sun to play a bit of game boy.
I also stuff small animals and put electroluminescent diodes on their nipples to scare old ladies who are feeding pigeons.

Can you tell us a bad joke? You have a joker: if you can’t tell us a joke, you can tell us your biggest FML.
OK, here’s a riddle I made myself then.
Do you know what’s the difference between 7 and 4? (Here you can answer whatever you want) No, they’re numbers.

To finish off, ask yourself a question you’d have liked to have been asked, and answer it (or not).
Do you know who invented looking? To tell you the truth, I know nothing about it.

 

And to see this week’s illustrated FML, click here.

 

There you go. Happy? Wait, have a few videos before you go. When Joey quits his job at the hotel where he was badly treated, he does it like this. And when a kitten pretends to be dead, he does it like that. So, happy now? See you next week!

 

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with her, and she will tell you what you have to do!

 

#1301 - Illustrated FML - On 06/29/2012 at 11:44am by Julien - 0 comments

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