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This Week’s Top 10 Comments Are In And They’re More Sarcastic Than Ever

By Nina / samedi 11 novembre 2017 05:30
In this edition of the comment countdown, people get really heated over some controversial topics, like gender, the treatment of cakes, and the age cutoff for bouncy houses. It’s a real rollercoaster - you’re gonna love it.

10. I wonder what kind of language this child will use when he's older.

“When he gets home from work, ask him, "how was my little cocktail weiner's day today?"”

-boopingsnoot

 

9. He was lazy enough to pee in a can and you were lazy enough to drink from an open can in the floor. You guys are a perfect match.

By Domo731 - / Sunday 5 November 2017 13:00 / United States - Johnson City

“The fact that the soda can was on the floor and already opened already sounded suspicious to begin with.”

-Glowworm56

 

8. Always put your problems in context.

“So your husband is gay, at least he isn’t a scientologist.”

-exileonmainst

 

7. Are you trying to kill him?

World

Today, I showed my dad photos from my first fun night out in ages. His response? "You look at least 6 months pregnant." FML

By sazz - / Sunday 5 November 2017 03:00 / United Kingdom - Shepperton

“That’s when you should of replied, “No... I’m only 4 months but the twins are growing fast”, as you watched the color drain from his face.”

-Akitakat

 

6. Chills.

World

Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

By Phonessed - / Thursday 9 November 2017 08:00 / Australia - Balwyn

“I’m sure pennywise will get it for you”

-molly7564

 

5. Sharing is caring.

“Wow! That kid is not being brought up right. He should be sharing his drugs with you. Where is basic decency these days, sheesh?!?!”

-RichardPencil

 

4. Funny, but let's not hate on Easy Bake Ovens now. A tiny lightbulb cooking a tiny cake is magical fun. 

“How dare you! Now go out and buy her an Easy Bake Oven and make sure she understands her role as a woman in 1950's America.”

-ohsnapword

 

3. Your family is going to have a long, healthy life together.

By seriouslysinglenomingle - / Monday 6 November 2017 12:00 / United States - Crystal Lake

“I would sniff out all my options before making any sudden moves”

-Akitakat

 

2. Here's a twofer, because apparently people really care about cakes.

“That’s a confession! Bring him to justice for the atrocities comitted against the cake!”

-exileonmainst

“YOU DARE MURDER OUR LORD AND SAVOIR CAKE?!!? THOU SHALT BE STONED TO DEATH FOR SUCH CRIMES!!!!”

-tonyfan00

 

1. We all struggle with adulting.

“I understand how you feel, I was asked to leave a bouncy castle for being an adult. I'm only 33. FML”

-Lobby_Bee

“This has happened to me as well. I took my beer and left.”

-azouwa

 

META COMMENT BONUS ROUND

“Did you just assume his gender?!”

-exileonmainst

“How can you bring a child into a sick, depraved world where people destroy cakes?”

-exileonmainst

By - / Wednesday 8 November 2017 21:57 / Belgium - Wilsele

“I’m guessing she didn’t think to use a soda can?”

-manb91uk

“You whine to HR about an origami flower, things are gonna get ugly. Haven’t you seen “Fatal Attraction?”

-RichardPencil

 

 DR. DREW PINSKY AWARD

By Domo731 - / Sunday 5 November 2017 13:00 / United States - Johnson City

“If it's not yours, don't touch it. If it is yours, always be careful.”

-Meh45

“The FML comments section always has the BEST sex tips.”

-Tripartita

 

SPOILER ALERT AWARD

(in which OP complains about spoilers, then goes on to share them with everyone in the thread)

 

HELISEXUAL AWARENESS AWARD

“As a person who identifies as an attack helicopter, I find this thread offensive.”

-somedudesomewher

 

THIS ONE GOES TO ELEVEN AWARD

“At least, it appears that the show has influenced him. "Friends tell no lies".”

-voncrane

 

ALWAYS POPS UP ON RELEVANT THREADS AWARD

“Kick your dad in the balls and tell him to tell someone who cares”

-really_dad?

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Comments
By  Levvy  |  22

So, looks like the takeaway here is that if you want FML acclaim, all you have to do is parrot, verbatim, cute little zingers that caught on specifically as ways to mock transgender people without even having to fabricate an original sentence. Come on, really? If you're gonna reward people for behaving like jerks, at least have the standards to ask they exercise at least a few syllables of originality with it.

Reply

THIS IS SO OFFENSIVE YOU ARE DIRECTLY ATTACKING MY ATTACK-HELICOPTERNESS BY ASSUMING THAT I'M A JERK, WHAT NOW ARE YOU SAYING ALL ATTACK HELICOPTERS ARE JERKS O MI GOD I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING RAPED HERE YOU ARE RAPING ME YOU ARE RAPING ALL ATTACK HELICOPTERS ATTACK HELICOPTER LIVES MATTER WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS !!

By  I'madumbass  |  17

I have to admit: this is a pretty great place for sex tips. And debates. They are always interesting. One of the things I like about FML is that we can all bond over how much our lives suck and then communications continue from there. ??

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