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Here's This Week's Collection Of The Worst FMLs We've Ever Received: Get A Gas Mask To Protect Your Eyes

By Alan / vendredi 22 décembre 2017 10:00
Here's another selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep.

Hello everyone! Once again, here's FML's weekly Best of the Worst! Even more proof that the internet is full of people who can claim that reality is stranger than fiction.

For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "cans of shit" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, get ready, be prepared.
 

Silver spoons 

just now my dad and I were eating and he told me I have to train on Christmas day and if I didn't I would not go to Barbados.... fuck you dad.... fuck you

Dirty face

Today I sent a text message meant for my boyfriend, to my friend. It said "Omg you are always on my mind." But it had a dirty faced image. My friend texted me back and said "I'm glad you came out of the closet." WTF. FML.

Retarted

Today my teacher asked me if I was retardet because I cant spell the word “tomorrow”. I’m in honors classes. FML

Ergo proctor something something

Today, I was listening to techno. Turns out I’m Jewish.

Well, had you?

Today, my blonde girl friend asked for a divorce. she filed for one. she didn’t know you had married. FML

Dave

Today, I tried “The World’s Hottest Sauce” and it was quite spicy, apparently so spicy that it drove a tapeworm out of my ass. It was six feet long. FML

Blehh

Okay, So My Room Is Not Clean’d On “Time” So I Get Grounded Big Deal.. Blehh, But Enyways I Then Later Find Out Im Not Grounded But Im Free To Go.. So I Text My Two Friends And Ask To Chill Both Reply, ‘To Busy’, Then I Later Come To Understand They Had Both Left Me To Hang Out With A Guy.. FML

A load of pony

Today i admited i used wikipedia to find out names of the ponys when i didnt have to

Never drunk-FML

Today, I got a new dog forme. my couse. house. but. we name her sunny how cut si it

A 12-year-old kid probably wrote this

Today, My cousin announced she had a black vagina. We’re white. FML.

That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus track: Thanks for the info
  

Inspector Morse

Today I was so bored that I realised that FML in Morse code, using basic . and - keyboard characters kind of looks like somebody giving you two middle fingers ..-. – .-.. Looks less impressive in this font though. FML

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