Today, nearly six months later, my incompetent, lazy coworker still refuses to believe I didn't screw my way to the promotion both of us were competing for. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 8:52am / Madagascar / Work

Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML

by socknotes / 03/08/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's compensation. The kind involving desperately scrubbing my office chair with paper towels, before going home to change my pants. FML

by shart / 03/08/2016 at 9:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML

by ReComatosed242 / 03/08/2016 at 7:29pm / Bahamas / Work

Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML

by leafynitemare / 03/08/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we were notified that our office will be relocated. Employees can tag along but their wages will not be adjusted accordingly. The cost of living at the new place is way higher. I have to finish my contract and really can't afford to not have a job right now. FML

by chappedchap / 03/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Kuwait (Al Kuwayt) / Work

Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML

by angrystudent / 03/07/2016 at 5:47pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I started training my replacement for my job. My replacement already makes more money per hour than I do. FML

by MySonshine7 / 03/07/2016 at 11:23am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was given a $100 cookbook as a gift by a co-worker. The man who shares a desk with me didn't realise it was mine, as he was at lunch when I got it, so he decided to give it to my boss when he walked in. My boss is refusing to return it. FML

by Kaylz / 03/06/2016 at 11:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2016 at 1:49pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML

by KayleeFrye / 03/05/2016 at 12:39am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 4:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I delivered a pizza to a former coworker. He answered the door with his pants below his ass and his junk hanging out of his boxers. FML

by sericane / 03/04/2016 at 3:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.