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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

#21427853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (2772)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by Realworldred (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

#21425418
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (2440)

On 06/13/2015 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

#21425364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (1759)

On 06/13/2015 at 7:45am - work - by notfuckingpaidenough - United States (California)

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML

#21425191
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (11174)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:06pm - work - by nancypants1124 - United States

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (1776)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

#21424550
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (3890)

On 06/11/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by varunet2004 (man) - India

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (1740)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

#21424106
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (1401)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm - work - by cocoapuffs4life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML

#21423846
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (1633)

On 06/10/2015 at 9:26am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

#21423738
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (1548)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:25am - work - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boss of 2 years not only doesn't know my name, but calls me "Jew hair" behind my back because of my natural ringlets. This man determines all of my career progression. FML

#21423649
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (1534)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by hmdge1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)



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