Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

#21507378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by Kat - Australia

Today, I called the HR department of a big company, inquiring about a vacancy for a website designer. Boy, do they need one; there are dead links, malware warnings, and a layout from the '90s, but no info at all about recruitment. The lady just angrily referred me to the website and hung up. FML

#21506512
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (1552)

On 12/22/2015 at 8:08am - work - by vicious circle (man) - Sint Maarten (Dutch part)

Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML

#21506500
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (1414)

On 12/22/2015 at 7:30am - work - by itsthebestdayoftheyear - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after adjusting me, my chiropractor said I should stop sitting for long periods of time, because it's likely the reason for my chronic back pain. My job is as his front-desk receptionist. He yells at me if I'm not at my seat. FML

Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

#21506054
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (1499)

On 12/20/2015 at 11:24pm - work - by forever damaged - United States (New York)

Today, after quitting my job to take a very attractive position with a competitor, I was told the position was no longer being offered. I'm now on my way to file for unemployment. FML

#21505755
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (3979)

On 12/20/2015 at 5:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

#21505072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (1523)

On 12/18/2015 at 5:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML

Today, my grandma was sent to the hospital so I called out of work. My bosses told me that if I didn't come in I would be fired. I did so, only to find out they needed me there so I could close the restaurant while they left early to go to a party. FML

Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

#21504421
51 comments

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

#21504186
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (1529)

On 12/15/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by fmltom (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

#21503764
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (2524)

On 12/14/2015 at 7:15pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: