Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

by HT BaaFly / 09/07/2011 at 11:08am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

by minimoonpie / 09/07/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I frantically chased a customer down the parking lot, because they had left their package at my register. Only to find out that the whole time I was chasing the wrong person. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2011 at 5:32am / United States / Work

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

by Shamed / 09/06/2011 at 4:06am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

by mike / 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm / United States / Work

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

by whattalife / 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

by ReallyNow / 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

by chicoallen / 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm / United States / Work

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm / United States / Work