Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2016 at 11:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, while I was lifeguarding a swim meet with over 100 patrons, a duck paid a visit to our pool. He sat down and a brown cloud surfaced in the water. He immediately flew off. My manager then made me put goggles on and scoop out the poop while everyone watched. FML

by 1sasafras1 / 06/17/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working when my boss left briefly, leaving me with her elderly, senile mother. Not only did I have to chase her when she ran after a stranger on the road, I turned my back for 5 seconds to do my actual job and she walked off. When my boss returned, I had to tell her I lost her mother. FML

by paid to scoop ice cream not nana-sit / 06/16/2016 at 11:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my job as a supervisor has become increasingly ridiculous because one employee doesn't want to do the tasks I give her. My supervisor tells me to keep working with her and giving her work. When she goes directly to him, he tells her she doesn't have to do them. FML

by crackie / 06/16/2016 at 1:45pm / Korea, Republic of / Work

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

by BoldMoveCotton / 06/15/2016 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a strong storm knocked the power out at our office. I was dismissed five hours early, had my desk locked up and was walking toward the doors to leave when the power came back on. FML

by AstonBrown / 06/15/2016 at 1:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

by anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 2:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I found out that ever since I went from working full-time to part-time, my boss frequently blames me for different things behind my back. Currently, she's telling people I clogged the toilet and lost her keys - on what was actually my day off. FML

by cocacola999 / 06/14/2016 at 10:38pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was building furniture at work, I managed to get my fingernails ripped off and the tips mauled while cutting the wood for a nightstand. As my I was getting bandaged, one of my bosses looked at me and simply asked, "Why'd you stop working?" FML

by acf1233 / 06/14/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML

by Nanda / 06/14/2016 at 2:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, after being told two weeks ago that my contract would be renewed, my boss managed to tell me that actually he had other applicants for the job. I will be let go, but he offered me two months extra so I could finish the projects he had me working on. FML

by duCOQUELICOT / 06/13/2016 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work

Today, while working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant, a customer asked me how many chicken nuggets were in our 6 count chicken nuggets. FML

by confused_cashier / 06/11/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Work