Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24831) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized after sending out countless copies of my resume to companies, I failed to add my phone number on it. FML

#7960442
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7267) - you deserved it (27015)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:12am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I work at McDonalds. I burned my hand while cleaning their grill and have a 2nd/3rd degree burn from my pinky to my wrist. When told about this, my manager told me that there was "nothing that they could do for me and to tough it out". However I was given a free McFlurry. FML

#7948337
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (4413)

On 02/06/2010 at 8:19pm - work - by Enrique (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss' truck. While he was in it. FML

#7939097
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9347) - you deserved it (19538)

On 02/06/2010 at 2:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (3936)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

#7865579
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (2506)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:02am - work - by FMJoblessL (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

#7709427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11974) - you deserved it (44346)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:21pm - work - by Whoopsx99 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (4777)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

#7671025
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (4389)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:33am - work - by boredatwork (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6314) - you deserved it (27072)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: