Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

by fire1 / 10/25/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

by anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML

by bob / 10/22/2011 at 12:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

by Customer Stonage Representative / 10/21/2011 at 8:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

by dolceconfuoco / 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

by Whoops / 10/20/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

by ikickgingers / 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm / United States / Work

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

by derbyboy / 10/19/2011 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work