Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

by anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 11:22am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

by Cashier / 09/24/2011 at 2:21am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

by sick of life / 09/23/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

by Soopa-Genius / 09/22/2011 at 8:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

by unknown / 09/21/2011 at 8:40am / Philippines / Work

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 8:11am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

by PC Jones / 09/20/2011 at 10:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

by Lexiebear27 / 09/19/2011 at 11:56am / United States / Work

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

by Branman2480 / 09/19/2011 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML

by RebekahBrooke / 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm / United States / Work

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

by Mandy / 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work