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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

#13959673
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (38094)

On 11/24/2010 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (7900)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (3869)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24504) - you deserved it (2159)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9385) - you deserved it (61475)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

#13929879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (4871)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by poomaster - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

#13927206
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (32962)

On 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm - work - by BlackRavenWings - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

#13925537
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7590) - you deserved it (38601)

On 11/21/2010 at 2:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

#13906681
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (3622)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

#13893679
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (3754)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (5658)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)



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