Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

by ohno / 12/01/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

by ChrisD2V / 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

by robincakes94 / 11/29/2011 at 7:42am / United States / Work

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

by kait / 11/29/2011 at 12:34am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

by fuuuuck / 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

by Clumsy & Forgetful / 11/27/2011 at 1:02am / Canada / Work

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

by anon / 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm / Work

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

by disciplinaryaction / 11/21/2011 at 2:02am / United States (Connecticut) / Work