Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

by robincakes94 / 11/29/2011 at 7:42am / United States / Work

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

by kait / 11/29/2011 at 12:34am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

by fuuuuck / 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

by Clumsy & Forgetful / 11/27/2011 at 1:02am / Canada / Work

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

by anon / 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm / Work

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

by disciplinaryaction / 11/21/2011 at 2:02am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

by arthur / 11/19/2011 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

by I quit / 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work