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Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

#21353037
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/09/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by EMTGirl'sLife - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (9187)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (10236)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (36189)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

#21349609
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (5108)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:02am - work - by AAA guy - United States

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (5269)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML

#21348253
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (2079)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - work - by Not Worth a Lunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML

#21348144
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (2299)

On 02/02/2015 at 1:41am - work - by CalledOut (man) - United States (Washington)



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