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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6am to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

#20891194
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33575) - you deserved it (1990)

On 09/22/2013 at 7:36am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (9552)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (10879)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32801) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (27883)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (10109)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

#20886555
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38486) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm - work - by Anon - United Kingdom

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43663) - you deserved it (6973)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40159) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

#20886196
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:34am - work - by CrystalsDontWork - United States (Texas)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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