Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

by mitchell904 / 04/18/2012 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Newport) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

by bibou2324 / 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm / Work

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

by Disgruntled / 04/18/2012 at 3:49am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 12:26am / United States / Work

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

by ... / 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my boss fired me because he wants to start dating my mother and apparently doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

by hatemyboss / 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

by Spudzy / 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

by rescuetheduck / 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Work

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

by littleman / 04/06/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Work

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

by mockable / 04/06/2012 at 7:09am / United States / Work

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

by akasha / 04/06/2012 at 2:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Work