Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

#17623287
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29444) - you deserved it (5038)

On 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

#17621192
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (2183)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - work - by honeybee2487 - United States

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11292) - you deserved it (30670)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (3698)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (2923)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (8333)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML

#17588336
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18252) - you deserved it (21582)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

#17574598
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (3497)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (10182)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (6297)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

#17549181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34161) - you deserved it (2998)

On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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