Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

#15884544
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (2406)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:26am - work - by op-poopy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML

#15883320
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (6591)

On 04/22/2011 at 6:50am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8553) - you deserved it (41556)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9881) - you deserved it (29026)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

#15869233
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (2786)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:27am - work - by Forgetable (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (4444)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (3393)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (36532)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (31782)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (17533)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (4147)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

#15834810
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (3670)

On 04/18/2011 at 3:24pm - work - by nurseITHINKNOT - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62095) - you deserved it (4641)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: