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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (43555)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

#15975496
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (4607)

On 04/29/2011 at 7:36am - work - by Kebabjoon (man) - Spain

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (3305)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (27955)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (5038)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (2811)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

#15919542
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (3432)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (3497)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

#15899669
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (6668)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (3379) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

#15887024
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34901) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm - work - by Ashleigh - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (5035)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -



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